Write blog post: check!

I am officially spread too thin. Like peanut butter that has been spread too, uh, thin. On a piece of toast, say. Nothing worse than thinly spreaded peanut butter. On the other hand you don’t want too much, or it gets stuck in your throat.

Now I’m hungry. Thanks, bad analogy.

This whole “my kid is back to school and therefore I have the whole day ahead of me” notion is bullshit. Bullshit! You heard it here first! Because it’s not the whole day. It’s six hours. Then you factor in getting to and from school, and blammo, you’ve lost an entire hour. So: five hours. Five hours during which, in addition to work, you’ve got to exercise (right?), answer emails, eat, and also carry out an unending list of small yet vital errands and tasks that somehow manage to eat up your entire day because say you have to print out a contract but the driver on your computer was deleted after you had to get the computer serviced so you download the new driver which of course means you have to restart and once you finally get it to work it turns out the printer is out of ink and the only place that carries your printer’s cartridges is the Staples which is easily a half-hour walk from your place and the employees at Staples hate to be rushed or to do their jobs at all so that’s going to eat up another half-hour, easy, so while you’re there you might as well pick up some school supplies and—oh, look, it’s pick-up time!

A couple of weeks ago I purchased a notepad, upon which, I resolved, I would write my to-do list for the day. It was a small, simple notepad. It might have cost a little over a dollar. It was not an enormous investment. Usually I have notebooks and pads all over the place, but at some point I cleaned and purged and removed every half-finished book of scribbles that was cluttering up my shelves. And then I had nothing to write on. I could write a to-do list on my computer, but then I'd be denied the pleasure of crossing off items. Crossing them off AGAIN and AGAIN and maybe stabbing at them a little bit.

I forgot to use my new notepad for the first couple of days after I bought it, because I was too busy trying to find, I don’t know, socks. I can’t remember why I didn’t use it. Finally I remembered to use the notepad, and I spent a day crossing items off my list and feeling terribly organized and accomplished. The next day I went to write a new list, and I couldn’t find the notepad. I still haven’t found it.

So now my to-do list is in my head, and at the top of it is the item OH MY GOD FIND THE FUCKING NOTEPAD. I could buy another one, sure, but that would be admitting defeat. Plus it would be another errand and then another entire day would be gone, poof, like that.

Comments

[Nichole]

I wrote about peanut butter today, too. And I frequently lose things. We are obviously kindred.

[the grumbles]

are you sitting up in the ceiling tiles watching me at my desk? because frankly, you're creeping me out. stop stealing my awesome and highly effective work habits.

so effective, in fact, that i'm reading your blog right now. lists within lists... within lists...

[Maegan]

Yeah. It's not a "whole day". Never. Ever. A tip from a list writer: Buy the notepads in bulk and leave one in the kitchen, one in your bedroom, one in your purse, and one in your car. Even if you lost a list...You can restart with a new list. I don't care that I find lists with things written down like, "Don't forget, this is really important" and relaize it's been sitting under the seat of my car for 6 months. I just feel good that I wrote it down. :)

[Cindy]

This happened to my husband once. Same thing. He was going to be more organized and write up a manageable to-do list. He bought a pocket sized notebook to write in. Then he lost the notebook.

Because I washed it. Then I put it in the dryer. So I washed and dried it. Clean, but no longer a functional notepad.

[Jan Ross]

I can so relate. I retired last year after 20 years as an elementary school librarian to travel the world and write about it. This is working out great, except for what you mention above. Where the hell does the day go?? I seem to spend an awful lot of time just puttering around, straightening, messing around on the computer, running errands, whatever and then it's evening. It's crazy. The day NEVER went this fast when I was working. If only. (BTW, I love your magazine articles!)

[Varda]

Add me to the growing legions here who can completely relate. And this year one son's bus is all screwed up, so a few days a week I have to go pick him up at his school, in a very other neighborhood. So that cuts me down to 5 hours. And that? Gone in a flash.

Also? I have actual ADD (which this is all a pretty good description of.) And when you factor that in? It's a wonder I get anything, ANYTHING done at all.

And the lovely part of it? If it doesn't go away after childhood, it gets worse with age. I was actually relieved when I read that one of the many little diagnostic ticks was a sloppy handwriting that gets worse at middle age. Because lately? My handwriting? I still make lists, but can't understand a thing I've written on them.

It was good to know it's just a symptom of what I already know I have. I was afraid there for a bit I was losing my mind. Nope, same quirky self, just... more so.

[SCJ]

Yep, that's me and my daughter. Girls with ADD, unite!

I am actually working PT now, so imagine a day where the time they are in school is spent at an office and you can do some of the things on your to do list, but you can't run any of the errands! My weekends are now so miserable for me because I must spend them running errands and shuttling children to various activities. I think the knife put a hole in my bread when it spread that peanut butter too thin.

[Marinka]

So sad what passes for a blog post these days. So. Sad.

[LivewithFlair]

You need a "Not to do list."

[Robyn]

That was a mean-spirited comment, Marinka.
So. Sad.

[andygirl]

you rock my world. I was a little cranky today. but then your peanut butter analogy gave me some mighty guffaws. thanks to you, no people will be kicked today.

[Sara]

@Marinka And I was just stopping to comment about how you know you're a writer when you can write a funny post about a $1.39 notepad. And it was funny and well written and a perfectly fine blog post. Not every post could or should be a birth story or dramatic event or even important event. Blogs are about life. And sometimes life is about the little things.

[Alice Bradley]

I thought Marinka was joking! And I still think so. MARINKA?!

[statia]

I have the same problem. I have about five billion notepads, and here I am, not doing a damn thing, because I forgot to write it down.

I wonder if I can find a surgeon to attach it to me permanently. No, forget it, the paper cuts. I can't handle that.

Also, I feel cheated about school. Thanks.

[Robyn]

Marinka, if that was a joke, I do apologize.

[Issa]

I feel bad commenting to the comments, not the post...but Marinka is my friend and she has the driest, most sarcastic wit ever. Guarantee you, she was competently joking.

Oh and Alice? I bought this app for my iPhone called post-its. You know, to have post-its on my phone. I thought, this is awesome, except that you have to open said app to look at it. Now, I just put real post-its everywhere.

[Marinka]

Yes, joking! Amazing what passes for a joke these days.

sorry, everyone!

I adore Alice and would actually read her transcription of the phone book. (Oops! Sorry for the spoiler about next week's post!)

;)

[Alice Bradley]

Actually, my post for next week is "The Phone Book: Who Needs It?" I plan to become the next Andy Rooney.

Marinka, I'm going to have to teach you the use of the "smiley emoticon." Or perhaps the term "LOL."

[Caroline Calcote]

I have thought that so many times...that those 6 hours just fly by. Still, by the end of summer I am really wanting those six (well 5) hours. Just to go to the grocery store
ALONE. Or go to the gym without having to hear complaining about the gym's childcare (which is awesome). But then, homework starts coming home, and I'm wishing it was summer. Sigh.

[Nancy]

I love how you can make such ordinary, mundane "life" things interesting to read about. I too have too many half scribbled in notepads... but one day I decided to rip out all the used pages (because I'm too cheap to toss out the whole thing), and now I have a drawer full of flimsy notepads with half the pages. Which I someday plan to make lists in.

[Amanda]

I would like to share this with you Alice:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4P785j15Tzk

Because I love you.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

You're welcome.

[Donna]

I bought just such a notepad yesterday. I had big plans for that notepad. It was going to Get Me Organized, so I wouldn't miss another Open House at the school. But tonight my husband is flying back to the States, and while packing, he asked "Hey, do you have a notepad I could take with me?"

Sigh.

[Paula/adhocmom]

I know. I also manage to lose my metro card EVERY DAY, which as you know, means NO getting on the BUS. I don't like to think about what it says about me that I can not keep track of this very essential item.

[Alice Bradley]

Paula, I have about ten metrocards, because every time I lose one I buy another, and then Scott finds them all over the place and is all, "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU."

[Renee]

A timely post. Just last night I came home from the gym to find my husband folding the laundry that I had started but then never finished. I had a list of clients to respond to, an ad to send and a blog post to write. Gavin's almost finished Halloween costume was lying across the entry table. Oh yeah, and hubby and I still had to have a talk about what happened at daycare drop-off that morning.

Then I said it out loud. "I think I've over extended myself." It was like a light bulb went on.

Good to know I'm not the only one. Oh, and I lost my notepad yesterday, too. Found it under my mouse. :)

[Megan]

Alice, I generally love your work and lap it up with a spoon, but i have to say that this was a little irritating to me, the working mom. You know, working, like I'm chained to a desk for 8 hours a day and I have to drop off and pick up from daycare and when the printer breaks I have to go chase down that scenario on Saturday, as well as cook all the meals in my house, keep everything relatively clean, and do the other stuff too, like seeing family, keeping clothes in the closets, rounding up gifts and groceries, yada yada, all AFTER work hours.

I would KILL for five hours during the day.
Seriously, if it would get me five free hours A WEEK, let alone A DAY, I would off someone, no question.

[Megan]

Also, I maintain four blogs, two of which are professional, one of which is about cooking and requires prep, photos, and all that jazz. So don't tell me the writing is what is keeping you so busy. Sister, PUH-LEEZE.

[Alice Bradley]

I have to say, Megan, this is a little irritating for me, because *I am* a working mom. I make more than half of my family's income, and I have to do it in a relatively small window of time.

As long as we're comparing whose scenario is worse.

[Alice Bradley]

Excuse me, Megan? What did I say, exactly, that warranted this kind of response?

I don't know what you're so angry about, but it surely isn't my innocuous post about not having enough hours in the day. I think we can all agree that that's a fairly universal complaint.

As for your belief that writing doesn't take up a lot of time, that leaves me sort of speechless. If you want me to go into detail about the multiple projects I currently have and how much time they each take up, I mean, I can send you a timesheet, but I think you'd be bored senseless.

[Miss B]

This is why I do not use the calendar in my work email to remind me of anything important. Because that only works if I remember to look at the damn calendar in time. Which I never do. I am a post-it note junkie, myself. I write lists and Important Things on post-its, often multiple times, and have them all over the fucking place. Often, it's the act of writing the same reminders a dozen times that makes me remember whatever-the-hell it is, not the notes themselves. But the Really Extremely Important things get written on the littlest post-its, and stuck to the back of my cell phone or on top of the ID sleeve in my wallet -- because those are two places that I will always see at least a couple of times each day, so it's nearly impossible to forget about whatever is on the note. (If I have to add this...I still forget at least half the things I write on all these damn notes. *sigh*)

[Megan]

Alice,

I'm sorry. I'm tired, and I'm bitchy. I have an infant, get up at 5:30 every morning, and hit the ground running. I would love to have time to go to the gym more than twice a week but it's not gonna happen.

I have three jobs, one of which is the actual "sit at a desk all day" job and the others are freelance writing.

I get it.

And I'm sorry to be a bitch. I was just jealous of your chasing down the computer story because I have had a similar task sitting undone for months.

Again, sorry.

[Alice Bradley]

Megan, thank you, and I get it, I really do. Listen, just the sleep deprivation alone entitles you to some bitching. I would be gritting my teeth at me too.

[Megsie]

I only have one word: Exactly.

(Which was actually six words.)

[Tinkersdamn]

As of this last Monday, both my kids are at school "all day". In the run-up, everyone kept asking me what I will do with all my free time... I don't know if you're familiar with Bill Bryson's 'Thunderbolt Kid', but several idiots have been vaporised with my laser vision.

[melissa]

I recommend a dry erase board that you can stick somewhere (fridge/wall). Erase and rewrite the list as you see fit...make it big enough you can't lose it under or in anything. When it's time to go get stuff..I write that list on paper..and put it directly into my purse. If I don't - I WILL forget it, and forget everything on it and wander the store with no purpose. Good luck!

[Jessica]

And I laughed, especially at the notepad part. Of course you want the satisfaction of physically crossing off the items on the to-do list! I know I do. Makes me feel so accomplished that something I add a few other things I did that day just so I can cross them off too (shower, crossed off; cup of coffee, oh yeah, did that one).

[Margie]

As Bilbo says in the movie, "Like butter over too much bread." Glad everything is okay and that it's only schedule craziness and not sick or other emergency craziness. I was starting to mildly worry :)

[cheryl]

I have a notepad. I can't find the pen that came with it.

[Andrea]

I have learned that almost nothing of worth can be accomplished in six hours, whether it's on a list or not.

Which is why at the end of every day, my kids get off the bus and see their mother waiting for them, weeping.

[Carrie]

I was not aware we have the same life until I read this post.

[Kris]

OK, about the notebook thing - here's how I resolved it.

I got myself some chalkboard paint and painted an entire door in the kitchen.

Now I can write GRAND, SWEEPING to-do lists, I can cross things off, I can leave lists for OTHER PEOPLE, and other people can see just how much I have to do so they can just back off.

Plus, I got some colored chalk, so I could even decorate my list if I wanted to. :)

[Briar]

This reminds me very much of this blog post, which I hope you have seen and which you must immediately see if you have not.

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/06/this-is-why-ill-never-be-adult.html

There really are just too many THINGS.

[Kate]

My husband has a thing for notebooks. Like he gets great satisfaction from having them all around the house and doesn't seem to mind that each one only has 4 used pages in it.

I've been working on de-cluttering our lives but have accepted that many, many notebooks will always be with us.

Oh, and I totally should not spend time reading not only blogs, but COMMENTS to blogs, but I just did (and always seem to)...so now I have to say that I love it how you can basically get into a full on pissing match and then kiss and make up all within these comments.

I hope poor Megan gets some rest and realizes it's not a competition for busiest mom. As a chained-to-the-office style working mom myself, I actually took comfort in your post about harried days, knowing that the grass is not always greener for those working from home or doing the SAHM thing.

[Jody from CA]

I have only one piece of advice: AFTERCARE! If your school system has an option, skip the latte and indulge in aftercare. Seriously, just once a week for an hour is a godsend.

[lindsay]

I like a post it note posted to the base of my monitor. A new one everyday. Keeps me sort of focused. I should try it at home.

[Taryn]

I have Microsoft Entourage on my mac, and it has a "my day" feature that I LOVE. It lives on my desktop, and it is essentially a digital to-do list. I type in an item, it adds it to the list with a check box next to it, and when I finish the item, I check the box and the item magically disappears. It gives me the same satisfaction as physically crossing it off on paper, and I can never lose it.

[Barnmaven]

I always wonder how technology was supposed to make our live so much simpler but has made it unbelievably more complicated instead.

I'm really lucky to be able to work from home one day a week regularly, and occasionally, like when I lost my son's daycare last week, more than that. On the days I work from home life seems infinitely more complicated, if that's possible. I know its hard and entirely time consuming to commute and that there's never time for anything (especially as a single mom), but when I'm trying to work and deal with buses and daycares and doctor appointments all at the same time - NOTHING gets done! On the days I go to my work site, things are far more compartmentalized. Kids are dropped off for someone else to deal with getting them to and from school. Exercise fits neatly into my lunch hour. Errands can't be done, so work happens. Even though it means I have to fit in the errands and daily stuff on two weekend days, I still enjoy having that respite from the chaos of home.

Oh, and thanks for making ME hungry with your peanut butter analogy. Damn peanut butter.

[Erol]

I once lost my checkbook. I looked everywhere and couldn't find it. Fearing it had been stolen, I went to the bank, closed the account, opened a new account, and ordered new checks. Soon, I found the old checkbook under my keyboard.

[Jane Noir]

I use a white board for my to-do lists. In college I had several to-do whiteboards, categorized for different lists, in different places of my house. May be crazy, but it worked.

[Jenine]

I hate admitting defeat. I say you tough it out until that little deserter notepad shows up again.