What happens when you forget to make your ritual offering to Steve Jobs

My long, unprecedented run of good health has come to an end, my friends. I have been felled by something that has invaded my head- and face-parts. It may be a bad cold, or the flu, or an infection, or a terminal head illness. Whatever it is, it is no fun at all. I do not recommend getting this. Stay far away from me.

Right before I was stricken, my Macbook died. It died suddenly and with little warning. Fortunately I like to talk to myself, so when I said, “Huh, that’s weird,” and “Uh-oh,” Scott asked what was wrong, and when I described the odd behaviors my laptop was exhibiting, he calmly instructed me to step away from the laptop so that he could back everything up. I was sure he was overreacting, because we all know that Macs are magical objects endowed with formidable powers by immortal technology-pixies. I had probably angered my laptop’s anima by eating an almond croissant over the keyboard. I tried to reassure the Spirits that I would never again show such disrespect, but then Scott knocked me aside and backed everything up to a hard drive.

It is just now occurring to me that this illness is clearly Scott’s fault. Either because he didn’t allow me to resolve my computing crisis spiritually, and as a result enraged the spirits who then fled the laptop and flew straight into my sinuses, or because he was sick a few days before me. I’m going with the first explanation. I know the difference between a virus and an attack incited by laptop-desecration. THANKS, Scott.

Despite my nearing death and not having my laptop, Eden and I still managed to update Let’s Panic About Babies!, because we will stop at nothing to give you new content. Did you know that we’re now updating it every week? “Now” meaning “since we finished writing the book, which took up way more time than we had anticipated”? You may have already suspected this, but book-writing can eat up your time but good. If you want to also update the website that is the reason you got the book deal in the first place, you’re going to have to give up something else, like shaving. So when I say we'll "stop at nothing," I actually mean "nothing except the time we need to engage in our regular lives and not alienate our friends and family for good. Right? I mean, let's not get hysterical."

There are many updates to the site, so I recommend that you get over there. And start reading. Please know that we are always looking for questions to answer, so don't hesitate to contact us. That is, unless you have any pressing issues that you need serious answers for, because that's not what we do. If you want to see us dance like monkeys for your amusement, on the other hand, do not hesitate to let us know what "questions" you want “answered.” Thank you. I'm going to go back to bed now.

Comments

[Marinka]

I can't believe that you got the dreaded Mac virus! And it mutated to humans.

Feel better, and as I always say, "better you than me!"

[Kerry]

Wow, I have heard of so many bloggy friends experiencing this same thing lately, what a drag. I can't believe it took you so long to figure out that it was CLEARLY Scott's fault...!

[SuzRocks]

ohhhh.... I really need to back up my computer. I eat over it all the time- I don't think it likes me much.

Feel better!

[Catch the Kids]

Same thing just happened to me ... without the backup part.

[Orion]

Good thing your husband backed up the drive, I typically do that once a week.

[Steph]

Sorry you're sick!! My son was sick last week, his school nurse said she'd seem more illness this Spring than she saw all flu season. It's miserable! I hope you feel better really soon!!

[puncturedbicycle]

Oh my god, now you've said it - and I've read it - this is bound to happen to me too. Because I don't back anything up. And also because my Macbook is embarrassingly dirty.

[Rebecca]

I can't believe I waited this long to read your blog after always enjoying your comments on Momversation. Your writing is so damn funny it makes me fall out of my desk chair. And it seems to have the same impact on my husband. We may have to take out extra insurance.

My husband is a complete Apple slave, so he particularly enjoyed this one. Perhaps Steve Jobs pushed his magical remote obsolescence button on your machine in preparation for releasing an updated version. This seems to be what always happens to us.

Can't wait to find time to read your book, as well.

[Robyn]

It's Scott's fault that you caught a bad sinus cold, and it's your fault (not Steve Jobs') that my laptop expired. At least, this seems the most logical metaphysical explanation for my computer's recent demise. We follow each other's pattern, you see. I had my 41st birthday first, and then a few short days later, you celebrated yours. Last week, our laptop passed away, and then a few days later...

Oh. Right. So I guess it's really my fault. Sorry about your laptop.

[kelly w]

yer funny

[Trixie]

Ooooh, I'm very curious about the odd signs your Macbook exhibited (she said, hugging her Macbook and searching, frantically for her external hard drive..)

[Jordan Sneakers]

Everyone make some mistakes some times,and when we found them,if we turned them into right,and then I think the life will be better as you,fighting more,I will like so.

[Louis Vuitton bags]

I'd actually love to review these boxes on my shopping/lifestyle blog. i wonder if they'd send me a sample box to talk about?