In the locker room

The other day, at the Y, a lady got mad at me.

Her locker was directly next to mine, and she had her stuff kind of laid out all over, because she was doing her post-shower change. I live a few blocks away, so I never change in the locker room; I just take my stuff and get the hell out, because it’s hot and stuffy in there. I had no problem with this lady arranging her clothing and moisturizers wherever she needed to. Anyway, all I said was, “Excuse me.” In my mind, I was saying, “I’m just going to grab my stuff and get out of your way, because after all I’m not changing but you are, haha! So no need to move, pardon me, I’m running away now.” So I was trying to be quick, so I could get out of her way. But while I was grabbing my stuff she was huffing and sighing and whmmmphing. I couldn’t figure how why she was so mad, so I sort of assumed she was an angry person and I shouldn’t even address it. I took my coat and moved to the next aisle to get my stuff in order.

But as soon as I walked away she immediately started bitching about me to another woman, about how I hadn’t giving her a chance to move her stuff, how I was in such a rush and how impatient I was, how people are so thoughtless nowadays, no one thinks, no one cares, grumble grumble grumble. I was going to let it go and just leave, but I didn’t, I walked back and asked her what I’d done, because I didn’t see it. She immediately softened—as people often do when they’re forced to look into the faces of the people they’ve labeled as the enemy—and she explained her perspective, and we actually had a nice chat, and all was forgiven, and it was fine.

Except I felt bad. And I still feel bad about it. Not because of her, she turned out to be a genuinely sweet person who was having a crummy day, but it startled me, as it always does, how quick people are to assume the worst of each other.

It sort of astounded me that someone would read me as being insensitive—ME! The most Sensitive Person Alive!—but then I realized that people don’t know me, they project whatever the hell they want, just as I do to them, and I probably encountered the other most Sensitive Person Alive that day, but I was just as willing to pretend she was an old meanie who wanted to spread her unhappiness across the land. And it upset me to think that I could ruin someone’s day by just saying “Excuse me,” and how often had I blown past someone or accidentally bumped into them, and did that make them feel bad? I realize I’m taking on quite a bit of responsibility for everyone's feelings, but it’s true, those things can have an effect on you, those little jabs and bumps that are part of living in the city.

I’ve been feeling ever since like I should wear a shirt that reads, “CONTENTS ARE FRAGILE,” and actually that we should all wear that shirt, so that we can all remember to be kind to each other, because life can be so hard, and we’re only here for a little while.

If you’re a parenting blogger or avid blog-reader, you probably read the New York Times piece on “Bloggy Boot Camp,” and read the responses to it. I won’t add to them yet, but I did write a letter to the Times, and if it doesn’t get published, I’ll put it up here. If anyone questions whether there’s really that much hostility to moms and moms who blog, they should read the comments in the Motherlode blog at the Times. Or don’t read them. There is so much anger and derision directed at mothers, it’s truly staggering. We’re all narcissistic and neglectful and our children are awful. But how do they conclude all these things without actually reading a single blog, because after all they wouldn’t read us because we’re so disgusting?

Yesterday I received a bunch of emails from people who had seen my latest Redbook column on the MSN homepage. I didn’t know it was there, so I visited the site, where I made the mistake of reading the comments. And I learned that apparently I am the reason civilization is going down the toilet, and my child will grow up to be a serial killer. Ah.

You know, in both of these cases the comments themselves don’t bother me—I happen to know nothing they’re saying is in the least bit accurate—but it’s so sad to me that people fail to realize that they’re attacking actual human beings. Human beings whose lives they couldn’t begin to know. Or maybe they do realize that, and they don’t care, they feel so bad about themselves they want to make other people feel just as terrible. I’m not sure which is worse. I don’t think it’s my job to figure it out.

I was rooting around for comfort this morning, and I came upon a poem by Mary Oliver, one of my favorites of all time, so I thought I’d share. This is especially for Kate, beautiful Kate, one of the kindest people out there, who just lost her grandmother.

Dogfish

Some kind of relaxed and beautiful thing
kept flickering in with the tide
and looking around.
Black as a fisherman's boot,
with a white belly.

If you asked for a picture I would have to draw a smile
under the perfectly round eyes and above the chin,
which was rough
as a thousand sharpened nails.

And you know
what a smile means,
don't you?

*

I wanted the past to go away, I wanted
to leave it, like another country; I wanted
my life to close, and open
like a hinge, like a wing, like the part of the song
where it falls
down over the rocks: an explosion, a discovery;
I wanted
to hurry into the work of my life; I wanted to know,

whoever I was, I was

alive
for a little while.

*

It was evening, and no longer summer.
Three small fish, I don't know what they were,
huddled in the highest ripples
as it came swimming in again, effortless, the whole body
one gesture, one black sleeve
that could fit easily around
the bodies of three small fish.

*

Also I wanted
to be able to love. And we all know
how that one goes,
don't we?

Slowly

*

the dogfish tore open the soft basins of water.

*

You don't want to hear the story
of my life, and anyway
I don't want to tell it, I want to listen

to the enormous waterfalls of the sun.

And anyway it's the same old story - - -
a few people just trying,
one way or another,
to survive.

Mostly, I want to be kind.
And nobody, of course, is kind,
or mean,
for a simple reason.

And nobody gets out of it, having to
swim through the fires to stay in
this world.

*

And look! look! look! I think those little fish
better wake up and dash themselves away
from the hopeless future that is
bulging toward them.

*

And probably,
if they don't waste time
looking for an easier world,

they can do it.

Comments

[Andrea]

I heart you on so many levels! *sigh* Obviously the internet can be a trecherous place, but no one deserves such meanness.

But I must say, I'm not a mom. That part of my life has stalled and I'm counting the days until some man will decide his sperm is worthy of me and I can pop out a baby. Or even the day when I can go to the baby store and pick out a cute one. My point is that I love you mommy bloggers. I love hearing your stories and getting a taste of mom life. You guys are awesome for doing the one thing I can't yet: parent. And so for that, I'm giving you a huge, virtual HUG!

[Cheryl]

Thank you for this; for the poem and for the straightforwardness.

[Emily]

This is something I've been struggling a lot with lately. Trying to be good to people. Trying not to judge and trying not to feel judged by others. Can't stop them from doing it but maybe I can think about how they might be having a crappy day and maybe that's the reason for the judging. Everybody's a person and we're all as much the same as we are different. Thanks for this post. It's nice to feel like somebody else is joining me in taking up the challenge of being good to people.

[Boston Mamas]

Oh Alice, I heart you. Yes, I think it is truly sad how quick people are to judge and spew venom. Your gym example -- noting how the other woman softened when approached -- is a nod to why things get so out of hand online... it's just that much easier to attack when you don't have to face the reality that you are hurting a real live person. It's cowardly really.

Ultimately, personal attacks are reflective of issues that the attacker has. It's hard to keep that in mind when you're just trying to go about and live your days, but it's the only thing that I can find comfort in and make some sense out of when faced with crazies.

-Christine

[Dani]

Alice, I don't blog but I do read several blogs and occasionally comment on them (hopefully my comments are never taken negatively, because I certainly don't mean for them to be!). Have you ever read non-blog comments though? Like people's responses to articles about fires, car accidents and general news stories? There are a whole lot of idiots out there and I would say 9 out of every 10 public "conversations" I've seen are just a bunch of people spewing bigotry, ignorance, and anger. The relevant comments are few and far between. It's gotten to the point that I rarely read comments on "public" sites because they are always so horrible. I actually think the blog comment section (for the blogs I read) is *better* than the public norm, you know? (For the record, I've never read the Motherlode, or comments there - maybe that's more of a public thing and therefore brings out all the crazies.) I certainly know where you are coming from and can't imagine being on the receiving end of all that - if it were my own work, I could never just ignore it. But I hope you remember that it really isn't the norm. I can't believe I'm the only person who avoids such forums due to the negativity. I love your work. And I too think people need to be kinder to each other in general.

[mermil]

I was just telling my husband the other day that the world would be a much better place if people smiled back when you smiled at them.

[Accidental Olympian]

I am not a mommyblogger, but a blogger and a HUMAN BEING and I too was shocked to read the hate people had in response to the article.

I am so sorry that this has hurt you, and although the ignorant people of this world will probably unfortunately always be ignorant, you must take solace in knowing your loyal soldiers are here to help fight the good fight.

Hold your head up Alice, those people are morons.

[Lynne]

I thought that article at MSN was lighthearted and hilarious. When my kids were babies they use to clock me in the head with their giant Lego blocks when I wasn't looking. You have to be on the offensive at all times with those little ones! Do people seriously think you can just immediately stop a 2 year old's behavior just because you tell them to? So they may not headbutt you again, but they WILL move on to something else. Like trying to stick a Mickey Mouse spoon in your nose...not good.

[Bob]

I don't think people in general single out mothers as an object of hate, per se. There are several things going on. The distance/barrier of the internet gives people license to forgo the manners that prevent people who are face to face from being vitriolic. Three is no consequence to the rudeness, so people are rude. There's the Dr. Phil phenomenon - people judge from little, from afar. There is also that much is made of "mommy blogging" and people who don't understand it aren't afraid to deride it.

It is just as your locker room episode suggests - casual interactions can be misunderstood, but when the people involved take the time to discuss it, the problems are dealt with.

I too don't understand why people are so hateful. It takes so much energy to be mad at everyone. It is easier, I know, than trying to understand others or to see things from the other perspective but that still doesn't explain to me why they would rather hate people than like them.

[Greta]

My very favorite comments are the ones from people expressing their opinions about how Bloggers put too much importance on their own opinions. Irony is the best...next to hyperbole.

And Alice, JD Salinger had this to say on the matter:

“Among other things, you'll find that you're not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behaviour. You're by no means alone on that score, you'll be excited and stimulated to know. Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. You'll learn from them—if you want to. Just as some day, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It's a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn't education. It's history. It's poetry."

Oh, and there is this little bit too:

“Mothers are all slightly insane.”

Always keep in mind you are putting history and poetry out into the universe.

[erniebufflo.wordpress.com]

Lovely, lovely post. We are all just a bunch of sensitive nerve endings, walking around poking each other with sticks.

Reminds me of this from Vonnegut: "Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies—God damn it, you've got to be kind."

It also reminds me of Ingrid Michaelson's song Breakable: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgTClaTwQwM

[Anna]

This post kind of undid all the tight little knots I'm carrying around. Thank you. I've had an awful week.

Yesterday I broke a wine glass at work. I was stretching over some wine glasses to put it away, and it connected with the neck of a sturdy wine bottle and shattered. I wasn't scared, just surprised. It was as if the wine glass had shouted at me, or jumped out of my hands. I was disturbed to see the potential power and violence in what, for me, was just a movement of my arm. It was like my arm was a car, and all the glasses I'd been putting away were people that hadn't gotten hit by cars yet.

And when I looked around, I saw all the moving objects that people were negotiating and avoiding, so effortlessly, and for a second I was able to really see how complicated everything was, and how many consequences there were.

[Amanda]

I want to work where Anna works. With all the wine glasses.

Alice, ever since last week when I received a certain less than courteous comment on a column I wrote, I've been trying to describe the feelings you describe so eloquently above.

Some people can be so damn mean it boggles my mind. And knowing that their comments are false or misguided doesn't stop the sting. Love the t-shirt idea; may have to have one custom made.

[hi kooky]

Three things.

1) I was thinking about this quote (Plato) this morning: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." Boy is it hard not to judge sometimes.

2) Such a gorgeous poem. I heart Mary Oliver's poetry.

3) I'm not saying anything new here, but I really do think the anonymity of internet communication can fuel meanness, what with the lack of accountability and all. :(

okay, 4) Keep fighting the good fight, Alice! Thank you for this post.

[Cindy]

I get annoyed when people don't say "excuse me". But I'm usually the first to jump back say "oh sorry, let me get out of your way".

I've read that piece and a response to it about the bloggy boot camp. Some times I think that I couldn't have anything to say on this. I'm not a mom. But I do blog. No, it's not my job. But that's why I have so much respect and awe for those woman who do use their writing to help support their families. The thing is, to me, it just seems mean to belittle and snarky. And really that's just the lazy way. Some times (OK, probably most of the time) it's harder to smile and say the "right" thing, but you feel better for it.

[mj]

Someone in my family died yesterday and the news story about the event had comments on it. I'm not a publicly known blogger, so it was the first time where those comments directly related to me and my family. It's incredibly hurtful, even though they were all misinformed (and the article was incomplete when the comments started being added). I knew they didn't know what they were talking about, but they had to have forgotten that the victim was a real person with a real family and not just someone who died in a car accident.

[After Words]

It is good to know that civilization's decline is all your fault. I keep wondering who to blame.

[jennie w.]

I responded to the NYTimes article. Thankfully nobody has come over to my personal blog to insult me (or maybe they just died of boredom reading about my kids before they could comment).

I grew up with a mother who has a special gift for insulting and upsetting most everyone she comes into contact with. Thanks to her I have a thick old skin. But I'm still shocked by all the nastiness people direct towards each other, especially towards mothers. As a mother of six I have had people tell me to my face how irresponsible I am for having so many kids. But I have actually had more people stop and tell me how great it is to see such a beautiful big family. I happen to think that what I am doing is super wonderful, so I only choose to listen to the nice comments.

Maybe you should move to Texas. People here are so sweet and kind. I hardly ever get yelled at by strangers.

[Amy --- Just A Titch]

I'm not a mommy blogger, but the mommy bloggers I know and call friends are some of the most lovely women I've had the pleasure of meeting. It makes me sad that there is such hostility directed towards a community that can be so supportive.

As for that woman at the gym, I've been in that nearly exact scenario, and good for you for feeling bad. Typically, I want to ask her if she knows how insensitive she's being by spreading her crap everywhere, oblivious to the rest of the lockers.

[Elizabeth]

My favorite quote:
Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle
-Plato.

Well said, Plato, well said.
I do try to remember that as I live my life.

[Dawn]

I thought that the Redbook article was spot on. And a PP hit it right on the head - most 'comments' on articles are just for spewing nonsense and venom. They only rarely have anything to do with thet topic at hand. I think that they just like to see their vitriol 'published'. Blog commenters seem to be much more open to others' experiences.

All hail mommybloggers!

[Emily]

It seems to me that although the anonymity of the internet leads to some awful, awful, awful things, it can also make it easier for people to be open and kind and generous with one another as well. It's a shame that the bad things are so overwhelming.

I just wanted to say that I was on the opposite side of your scenario in the gym the other day, except I wasn't at all spread out, the woman in question was not going but coming and said "Do you mind?" instead of "Excuse me", which seems ever so much more rude, and the locker she was going for was in fact empty with plenty of other empty options in uncrowded sections that were NOT right above my chosen corner locker as I was leaving. I didn't complain to a neighbor though, nor did I say anything to the woman, but here I am weeks later still thinking about that. It's less about staying offended and more that I Don't Get It. It's admirable that you stopped and said something.

That poem was marvelous. Thank you so much for sharing it.

[Aimee]

My husband and I were talking about this the other day, sort of. The negativity. The apparent desire to make people feel like crap. We don't get it. I don't understand.

I just don't understand.

[Marinka]

You may be my very favorite Alice ever. (Munroe just got bumped to number two.) I don't want to talk about the NYT article anymore, but your locker room story reminded me of being in a car with my husband, on vacation, on Rhode Island. He was driving and we were stopped waiting for an oncoming car to make a turn and he waved his arm and the woman making the turn yelled at him "BE A LITTLE PATIENT, ASSHOLE!" and he was just waving a fly away on the steering wheel.

Sometimes I still think about her, how she probably told the story of asshole New Yorkers and their sense of entitlement but it was really just a fly and she'll never know.

[mundanejane]

The woman in the locker room would have been accurate in assuming that I was grouchy, impatient, brusque--I so often am, these days. It's easy to forget that our moods are so easily transferred, especially to strangers who have no reason to cut us any slack. THEY don't know that you have a headache, or that you're late for the dentist. They don't know that someone else was short with you just a few minutes earlier.

But you know, that's not the same thing at all as saying awful things anonymously on the Internet. It's the fact that it's not possible to confront those people face to face--the way you did the lady in the locker room--that contributes to their behavior.

[prettysparrow]

i think the last line of the poem above shoved it's way into my heart the most in this conversation:

"if they don't waste time looking for an easier world, they can do it."

to me, the people who comment blindly are looking for an easier world. they forget that, as you so boldly stated, we are ALL mere bundles of nerves. we each need care. we each need love. some days a simple "excuse me" is enough to set me off. and when it is, i am more ashamed of myself than ever. if i have truly reached the point where i can't give my fellow man or woman grace, then i am in a bad bad place.

thank you for the reminder that loving my fellow man is not an "easy world".

[Liza]

Yes to what Christine said. Your post made me think of the book "The Four Agreements" by Don Migue Ruiz. One of the four is to Never Take Anything Personally, bascially, because everyone's experience is their own and we filter everything through the glasses of our own personal experience. What hit me most about this "agreement" is when he said never take ANYTHING personally and then goes into saying that includes anything perceived as POSITIVE as well. Even if someone says, "Wow! You look great today!" or "Your blog is brilliant!" Ulitmately, they're just speaking from behind the lens of their experience. Something to think about.

AND, I am now ridiculously curious about the Times article. When I'm not sneaking around at work reading my favorite blogs, I'll have to look it up! Power to the Mommas!!! (and the almost-mommas, which is the category I'm in)

[Lynn]

This post made me recall a recent post you had which was a momversation about "Do you trust your friends or doctors?" I was appalled at the comments, not directed at you, but at Jenny McCarthy. People were even using foul language and calling her names. I was so disheartened. Isn't Jenny McCarthy just a mom like all of us who is trying to love her child and to help other moms? Even if you don't agree with what she is doing, then express THAT, in an intelligent way, with some generosity of spirit. But the name-calling and personal attacks that I saw? A SHAME.

I hope commenters will remember your locker room lesson: You can change a mind if you change your heart.

[Kate]

Alice, this is a great poem, thanks for sharing. It is also nice to know that I'm not the only person in the world who thinks about incidents like the one you had at the Y for "too long"...who can't let them go. When things like that happen to me I get that flip-floppy feeling in my stomach every time I think of the incident until it somehow works its way out.

It was interesting to read the poem, knowing the background story of your run-in at the Y. It brought a meaning to the poem I wouldn't have gotten otherwise.

Thanks.

[Adrienne Breaux]

Putting myself out there online has made me not just thick-skinned when it comes to dealing with all the negative comments slung against me, but also to help me from being so quick to judge other people---even in real life situations.

I'm sure you're kids are going to turn out just fine lol.

-adrienne
http://wearegoodkin.com/

[Alexandra]

Oh, Alice: I love you.

Love you up and down, and right and left. You are incredibly beautiful.

What a fantastic post.

I had to read it twice, it was so delicious.

You, are mighty with the pen.

So glad I found you, so long ago. You make me stop and think.

Awesome Alice.

[Elizabeth]

I always thought I was The Most Sensitive Person Alive, but it's nice to see that there are others. Like you I find people being mean to each other quite disheartening, but you did a really wonderful thing by going back and talking to that woman and getting it straightened out. If you hadn't, she would have kept on griping and having a bad day and you might have felt even worse because you didn't know why she was griping about you. Communication is the key to understanding.

I love the poem you posted, and I love this one by DH Lawrence too:

It is only immoral
to be dead-alive,
sun-extinct
and busy putting out the sun
in other people.

[Holly]

So I'm a blogger, a Mommy who sometimes writes about being one, and I live in New Orleans... which sometimes seems like a sort of trifecta of misery to others. The first is suspicious (you have a blog, eh?) the second hateful (oh, you're one of THOSE people) and the third, well, then they just KNOW I'm crazy (you live... there? WHY?)

And yes, I think you've nailed it. People don't know shit.

Thankfully, I've found people can also hum a different tune once they learn a few notes. Only a small percentage among us is actually tone-deaf. Which is, ultimately, why I blog. Just trying to teach a few notes.

[Karen]

I want to give you a hug. Everything that you said is so true and just so sad. I used to think that people were so rude over the phone, when they couldn't see your face...but on the internet it's 100 times worse. :(

[finslippy fan]

Go Alice for standing up for yourself!

[Melodie]

I was reading an article in the current "Psychology Today" magazine and an article within the mag indirectly relates to what you are discussing. The article discusses intimate relationships, but I think it applies here. Basically, the article blames our culture for constantly feeding our desire for perfection. People are not perfect, yet we expect everyone we deal with to be perfect, to act perfect, to perform with perfection. There is nothing wrong with you asking that woman what you did wrong. You seemed polite, with good cause - you would most likely have seen her again and again at the gym, no need to be snippy, right? She was having a crappy day and instead of saying she was having a crappy day, she immediately transferred all of her crap onto the interaction with you. Maybe next time, she'll consider being honest with herself and give herself a break for not anticipating your every move.

[Amy]

I needed that poem today.
Thank you.

[Organic Motherhood with Cool Whip]

I just found your blog thanks to another wonderful blogger I know. She sent me the link to this post because she thought I might enjoy it. It's sad how easily we misunderstand each other and leap to unfortunate conclusions in this world. But it is also wonderful that you went back and talked to her. That is so corageous and wonderful of you! If only we could all do that in our daily lives. Face what we fear or what we don't understand rather than bottling up the negative feelings inside. You are an amazing person!! Glad to have found your blog.

[Rita Arens]

I wrote an article for Babble a while back about the neighbor girl and my issues with personal boundaries, and boy, howdy, reading those comments made me want to bury myself neck-deep in Calgon. Clearly, I am why children get trophies for showing up! I have no backbone! They are all going to send their children to my house, because I am a BIG FAT PUSHOVER!

I freaked out about it for about a week, actually. Comments, man. You nailed it -- who do they THINK wrote these articles?

[Jessica]

The comments following most blogs/opinion pieces can be appalling. For what it's worth, I think you rock.

[amy]

yes. all the blah. but all the good too lives around us and we can hoist each other up...
We can stand above the shit. xo
and what a lovely thought to Kate. I have been thinking of her the last two days.

[D]

I was going to skip your blog today because I had a list of other things to read. So, so very glad I did not. What a wonderful entry.

[Nicole]

I am a teacher and was shocked at how my students were so one-minded, categorizing everyone different as one thing. I found this talk and showed it to my class hoping to broaden their horizons culturally, but after listening to it for the 2nd or 3rd time I realize she is not just talking about race, but about all of us taking the time to understand each other better--and I think that goes along a lot with what you're saying--especially about the mommy blogger article and comments. Anyway, just thought I would share:
http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/chimamanda_adichie_the_danger_of_a_single_story.html

[Katerina]

Hokay, I'll address only the locker situation, not in a poetry mood today.

Alice, I think you're wrong for thinking that you "ruined [this woman's] day". Far from it! I think she was just spoilin' for a fight, or at least a bitching session, and was looking for a trigger, and you provided it. I bet she was HAPPY to complain and grumble (this being the Y, "kvetch" would seem more appropriate). You know, there are some people who are just genuinely happy to complain about anything, it's a way of life for them. And they tend to be older, and they are often female, and dare I say it? Elderly New York Jewish ladies are masters of the game! And the fact that they kvetch and complain and grumble doesn't mean that they are unhappy, or that they hate the world, or the people in it. They often are genuinely sweet, and they are enjoying themselves! They just like to complain! Some of the time I wonder if the complaining is just a bait... talk to me! Make me feel like I matter!

Of course I wasn't there but I can think of so, so many times when what seemed like an utterly hostile comment by just such a person eventually turned into a pleasant, even funny conversation just because I was willing to engage.

I miss New York just thinking about it.

[Katerina]

OK, now I've gone back and read the poem. Thank you.

[Alice Bradley]

Katerina, that is a *great* way to think of it, and you know, you just may be right! 

[js]

Great insights, but didn't someone around here just publicly tell some other lady to go f*** herself the other day? I love you, Alice, but you're better than that. My apologies for publicly correcting you.

[LSS]

Btw there's another response to the NYT story on Huff Post:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joanne-bamberger/an-open-letter-to-the-emn_b_499087.html

You should definitely post your letter, as well.

And just wanted to echo what everyone is saying - at least the comments on EVERYTHING are nasty? It's not just you? I dunno, I got nothing.

[AJ]

I didn't read through all the comments, but knowing your readers, I am going to guess that what I am about to say is a big repeat of "what they said". So, I'm sorry. I think? But then, I'm not, because I want to say that I think you are one of the most down to earth bloggers on the web, completely relate-able. You as a person simply shines through everything you write, which is why it blows my mind that anyone could think bad things about you. You come off as simply delightful and your writing is so honest, that there is no doubt in my mind that the way you come off is the way you ARE. My family is in Brooklyn and I feel like I know you. Well, know *of* you, like I could run into you on the street and wave and not feel like a stalker, and that is a quality that not many people can manage to convey over a computer screen.
In short, fuck the haters, especially the ones who read a column and have now deemed you Satan. What do they know and why should you care.
Also, you probably didn't ruin that lady's day. In fact you probably MADE her day by hearing her out and having a conversation with her.
I dunno. I'm babbling. We like you!

[Alice Bradley]

js, I did say that, frankly thinking there was no way in hell it was going to make it into the video, but there it was. Not one of my proudest moments, to be sure.