On the other hand...

Only Liz could make me want to move farther away from the city.

Apparently, Butt Paste farmer suffers from painful hemorrhoids and was searching for some esoteric ointment that his veterinarian had recommended for somebody named Beverly, who is either a chicken or his sister in law who lives up in Big Mamou. The other farmer knows a traiteur up the other side of Bayou Courtableau who eradicates tumors (and also repairs vacuum cleaners), but who might have either an auntie (or maybe a hot potato?) that specializes in curing bad hemorrhoid juju.

You could eavesdrop for hours at the health food store here, but you’d never hear anything half this good.

Comments

[Christy]

If I had a nickel for every person named Beverly I confused with a chicken ...

[missscarlet]

Yeah, that post about the wizened old Louisiana farmers is destined as a classic.
But you know who's blog is like swarming with classic posts? Yours.
Just spreading the love.

[DM]

Oh my God. That was hilarious. Loved it. Thanks for linking to her.

[European]

Yeah, um. Yeah. I was just totally distracted by the sidebar ad that says "... stop delivering babies. Click here to find out why." Maybe the traiteur can help with this one?

[Mom101]

So funny! And also a bit of a relief. Because me being a Liz and all, my first thought was that maybe in a bout of black-out drunkenness or maybe sleepblogging, I had unwittingly put something horrible in one of your comments that made you want to move far far away from me. Then I realized you don't even know me, let alone the fact that I live in Brooklyn. So that put that theory to rest.

[Christine]

Thanks for the hysterical link! I really needed that today.

[Deb]

OMG, I would KILL to have actually heard it complete with accents!

As a regular purveyor of health food stores, I am so glad to hear they are Universal! So bloody cool...

[dutch]

Cripes just reading that makes me want to sire a blond-mulleted son named ZZ and make a living selling spraypainted shirts from my Turbo Fan powered Ultra High speed Airboat.

[Dirkey]

I loved that link, was looking at it at work. Started to add it to my favorites then realized the title of the blog was "granny gets a vibrator". I'm not completely ready to get dooced yet so i stopped, but thanks for the midday giggle :)

[Amanda]

Now THAT'S how you talk about hemorrhoids!

[Mary]

Fear the Roids!
Anybody (auntie or hot potato) who can clear up hemmorrhoids is allright with me.

[Abby]

I have a great aunt that can remove warts by looking at them. She's the seventh child of a seventh child or something.

I'll have to ask her about the hemorroids. But ew. She'd have to SEE them. Thank God her healing powers don't involve touch. HA.

[cagey]

You had me at Butt Paste......

[s@bd]

Thanks. Cuz I didn't have enough blogs to read already ...

sigh.

[JuJuBee]

"Bad Hemorrhoid JuJu" is not the best phrase for my reputation.

[Beverlee]

Thanks for the link. I'll add her to my reads. And you know, nice to-the-point summary from you.
Also, just read your last post. I just want to say that an opportunity will present itself because of this move. You will never have it unless you do it. Change is good and different is not bad, its just different! I moved from a city of 2.5 million to a town of 4000 where you have to drive three hours to get to any sort of shopping civilization. Our lives are much fuller in a different way. We're not looking back ...

[Arabella]

You know, Alice, you don't have to go away forever. I know a lot of people who've moved back to the city from the suburbs after their kids went to college.

In the meantime, have fun with the burbs. Maybe take up gardening? Grilling?

[Sue]

Liz is one of my blogging heroes. Consistently great. Even her garden pictures are better than most stuff on the internet.

[susan @ yow]

Thanks for the link to another great site!

[Heidi]

Came here via Granny. Nice! I just happened to see BBP(Boudreaux's Butt Paste) at Target yesterday, so if you're looking for some deep down south nostalgia...

[robin]

Oh how can I thank you enough for that jewel, that perfect jem of an entry? Funniest thing ever.

[TitanKT]

That is the perfect example of how the truth is stranger than fiction. You can't make that stuff up!!!!!

[Teller]

Good stuff!

[jozet]

Okay, not for nothing, but I wonder what the esoteric ointment is...I mean...you know, I have this friend...

Very, very funny! Some people just beg to have cameras following them and a spot on prime time TV.