Cute at three = creepy at thirty.

My son is a little in love with me these days, and I can’t say I mind. Who would mind when one of the great loves of her life, the human being for whom she has sacrificed many hours of sleep and an inexpressible degree of personal freedom, declares that she’s as beautiful as a princess? That she has the softest cheeks on the planet? That she smells better than his teddy bear? (God, I should hope so. He sleeps on that thing. And drools on it. It smells like feet.) He’s taken to remarking on my clothing, and whether or not he approves of it. And when I meet his approval, I admit it, I get a little thrill. On more than one snowy winter morning I have caught myself putting on mascara when there was no chance of us ever leaving the house or seeing another human being. Dear Lord, I thought, I’m doing this to impress a three-year-old.

He has developed a ritual we engage in when I pick him up from school: he runs into my arms, I gather him up, and he rubs his cheek against mine. At first we managed to separate ourselves and head for the door after a few passes of cheek against cheek, but every time, the ritual has grown lengthier and more intricate. Now it’s a full two or three minutes of cheek rubbing, stroking my cheeks with his (inevitably sticky) hands, and gently kissing my cheeks all while murmuring, “Mama, mama.” It’s very sweet, but meanwhile we’re in an enclosed area surrounded by other parents and their offspring, none of whom seem as compelled to engage in a quasi-makeout session with their parents, all of whom are knocking into us, trying to get at their coats and lunchboxes and get out. I move as much to one side as I can, but his little hands are all over my face, blocking my peripheral vision. “Don’t you want to go to the playground?” I ask. “Don’t you want to tell me about your day?” “Shhh,” he whispers. “Shhhh.”

Outside, he is my protector. If someone almost runs us over (which seems to happen with alarming frequency) and I gasp or shout or deliver some (I hope) cutting remark, he’s all over the situation, ready to kick some ass if I give the say-so. Usually he’s a few seconds too late, but still, I appreciate the gesture “What did they do? Where are they?” he says, wheeling around, as the car in question disappears over the horizon.

The other day at the playground, an older boy growled violently in Henry’s face just as he approached, and while I don’t normally intervene in such matters, I thought that was out of line. And, well, I told him so. I tried to be gentle, but I’ve found that little boys either disregard you entirely or suffer deep emotional wounding, and this kid took the latter tack. He took off into the protective arms of his babysitter, who rolled her eyes at me. Meanwhile, Henry was outraged. “What did he say to you?” he demanded of me. “What did that little boy do to you?” He stalked toward him, all but rolling up his sleeves. “Why did you make my mother say that to you?” he screamed at the kid. Eventually we cleared things up and they were soon playing Power Rangers on the Death Star.

Another day, Henry was playing “Shark!” with two of his classmates, boys who are as verbal as Henry and thus equally amenable to spinning elaborate scenarios instead of, say, running at top speed into walls. In this episode of “Shark!” there was a shark (duh) on the prowl in the waters, the waters being whatever was not the jungle gym. Henry and his friends screamed the location, status, and harpoon-ability of the shark at each other from opposite ends of the jungle gym. Then at one point one of the boys looked down and realized I was in the water! Right next to the shark! “Aiiiiiigh! Shark! Shark!” he screamed at me, and I gamely threw myself to the ground, shrieking that the shark had my leg and wasn’t letting go. Henry was obliviously screaming about the shark being near the swings and maybe they should head over to the swings and check things out, but snapped to attention when the boy ran to him and shrieked, “Henry! The Shark! Has! Your! MOTHER!”

At that, Henry did not hesitate to leap off the jungle gym (or, to be more accurate, step slowly and deliberately down the ladder—but with great purpose), despite the boys’ protests that we would surely both be killed. He ran toward me and pulled me to safety. “Climb on my back!” he shouted, “It’s the only way!”

I was describing Henry’s exploits to my husband the other night, and I sighed and said, “You know, someday he’s not going to be this in love with me.” And my husband looked at me and said, “Um, don’t you want it that way?”

Which, really, is an excellent point. I guess.

Comments

[sweetney]

oh my god... that's almost too much adorableness to take in all at once. i may faint.

[wix]

o, little boys. so wonderful.

[Sarah]

He saved your life! Surely such bravery deserves some kind of medal?

[VenturaMom]

There's nothing better than the big love of a little kid. Of course if Henry wants to take you to his senior prom...there may be some boundary issues.

[Summer]

This is why I have recently started suggesting to my son that he would enjoy being stuck in a large jar and doused in salt water and vinegar. "Don't you want to be pickled?" I'll ask. The answer is always no, but there must be some way to preserve this three year old sweetness. In a way that doesn't smell of dill or perversity, of course.

[Beverlee]

Oh drink it in, bask in it, slurp it through your pores. Although part of me wants to say, "Store it up inside because there are days ahead where you would be overjoyed to receive just the tiniest particle of all of that." The other part of me says, "I also had a mad love affair with my son. He is 6ft and 16 now but I still get lots of cuddles when ever I watnt them." Enjoy...

[r]

love it love it love it! i'm in good with my 3-yr-old son right now too. and even more "in" with his 1-yr-old sister.

[Hope]

When I read about the ritual you go through when you pick Henry up from school, I had this image of Pyscho in my mind. Sorry :)

[Mir]

We're still all Oedipal over here, at 6. Our ritual has extended to him sighing, "I love you EVEN MORE than you love me," while I counter, "Impossible! You cannot outlove your mama!" Then he becomes quite impatient with me and insists, "But I love you MORE THAN LIFE!" (All of this is done while he strokes my hair.)

I figure I'll give him 4 more years before I feel compelled to share this with a shrink.

[Em]

I am forwarding this to everyone I know. The coat room embrace is my very favorite part.

[Annie]

Little children should always love their Mamas. And big do to, they just show it in different ways. Though I agree you probably should be his prom date. Enjoy this devotion in all its beauty and wonder.

[Nia]

Oh my God this post makes me want to march home right now and demand of my partner that we make a little boy.

[Tree]

Heart...melting!
Little boys are lovely. My Caleb, at 6, is still in love with me. He tells my I'm his best friend every day, and likes hugs much more than my 3 year-old. I just hold onto it, knowing it can't last forever...

[renee]

I've recently had to discourage my 7 year old from slipping me the tongue when he kisses me. Then he wanted us to moosh our lips together when we kiss, like they do on TV. I had to say, no, that's also inappropriate. He got very hurt and angry. "But that's what people do when they love each other and I LOVE YOU!" He still tries to squeeze my face against his for as long as possible before I pull away. And he's strong!

Oh, and I've got a boy who's very verbal AND likes to run full speed into walls. Never a dull moment.

[Steph.]

I have a son who is six and he's not near as huggy as he used to be. Enjoy all that while it lasts, before long he'll act embarassed to do the cheek thing with you. But, one good thing about boys, he'll always want to protect you...

[Jessie]

It is all just too cute!

[carolyn]

*Sigh* And here I was thinking my little girl would be our only child. Now I have to start thinking about another one (years from now) just so I can have a boy to protect me from playground sharks.

And is it weird that I remember playing a similar game when I was little?

[Nothing But Bonfires]

My god, I knew parts of New York could be a little dangerous but I had no idea there were SHARKS! in the school playgrounds. Not to worry, I bet they won't have them in Jersey.

[Rhonda]

Oh the sweetness of the cheek nuzzle. I love when my 2.5 year old puts her little hands on my face and sighs "mama." I know she won't be in love with me forever, but it's so nice right now. Sometimes I want to eat her.

[erika]

I love that you pretended the shark had your leg. And that Henry saved you. Fantastic.

[Jmelee]

Oh my GOD I can't wait! I have a 6 month old boy with a bit of a mommy-crush already, but full on cheek nuzzling loving? Right now he's got better things to do than snuggle with me. Like, eat everything in sight!

[Mark]

Re: your last two posts:

If storytelling like this is what "the most insidious blogging block" looks like, I want some of that.

[hd]

Delurking to say I'm trying to have a kid now, and while I've always seen myself with a little girl, THIS is the reason I secretly want a little boy. Such uninhibited adoration, and none of that prissy girly eye-rolling that many 3 year-old girls are so good at.

[Liberal Banana]

Wow, that was sooo sweet. See? Reading stuff like this makes me think that having kids someday might not be so bad after all.

[LizRM]

There are a couple of girls in pre-school who dig Miles and they like me too. I'm Miles' mom, how cool is that?

Not so cool, according to Miles. He doesn't want them hugging on me - that's his job - and he doesn't want them hugging on him while I'm there - that's my job. He's not quite protective yet (only 2 1/2) but he's very territorial. It's very sweet.

[edj]

Aren't little boys the greatest...er, at times anyway. I remember when my son (then 2 or 3; now 10) went through what I called the "inappropriate compliment" stage. He used to compliment me on my legs, my bottom, my underwear--whatever was eye-level! He is still in love with me...told me just last night that he would like to be "locked in" to a cuddle with me for all eternity! ahhh... and they wonder why we cry at their weddings!

[SparklieSunShine]

That is so adorable.

[cursingmama]

As I see it the only way out of this unboundless love is either a puppy or a baby. Having gone the baby route myself I might suggest the puppy would be a whole lot easier, but really who wants to lose the unboundless love?

[Nia]

Also to reinforce the point that you lucked out I shall relate a story of an exchange between myself (aged 3) and my poor mother who at that time was recovering from a very long illness.

N: Mummy, are you going to die?
M: Why no sweetheart, of course not.
N: Oh. Well if you insist.
M: Do you want me to die?
N: Well see Beauty lost her Mummy and then she was sad for a bit an then married a prince and lived happily ever after and Cinderalla lost her Mummy and then she was sad for a bit and then married a prince and lived happily eveer after and Snow White lost her Mummy and then she was sad for a bit and then married a prince and lived happily ever after, so I was thinking...

[wordnerd]

"'Shhh,' he whispers. Shhhh.'" That's all that matters. Let them walk around you. What a beautiful testament to a little boy's love for his mom.

[Alexa]

This post nearly killed me. (“Shhh,” he whispers. “Shhhh.”--it is too much for my poor heart to stand). And yes, we played the exact same version of Shark! Apparently it is a classic.

[J's Mommy]

Excellent point about not wanting him to be so in love with you one day, but it's so sweet! Henry's in trouble though. He's never gonna find a woman who takes care of him better than mama!

[Lora]

Aren't they wonderful at this age? My son, who's 4, has been very in love with me lately as well. I suck it all up since it won't be long before he wants nothing to do with me. In the meantime, I'm enjoying every single kiss, hug, "I love you, Mama" and "you're pretty" I get. This time is way too fleeting!

[European]

Henry for president!

[Meg]

My brother was like this with my mom. I was like this with my dad. It allll works out.

[Nyanko]

That is just the sweetest thing I've ever heard. I bet in two years you'll be writing about how you WISH you could go back to these days. Or, my god, when he's a teenager...

[Kristen]

Sounds like you and your wonderful son are in-sync - perhaps at some level, he senses your anxiety (however it is manifesting for you right now) and is hoping to ease that for you as your protector. Very special.

[Katie]

I love the way he shushed you! When my son comes into bed with us in the morning he does the face stroking thing while muttering "Mama...mama..." So sweet, we should enjoy it while we can!

[jennster]

blake tells me i'm "pretty like britney spears".... you know, when she was still hot. lol

[llama]

That's just too gorgeous for words!

[Lori]

Good news for the Jersey girls. Henry's coming to town! Not only is he a brave shark fighter who stands up to bully's for his best girl, he's intelligent, knows a good outfit when he sees one, AND he loves his mother. Where do the mom's start lining up?

[elswhere]

But would he protect you from the Jets?

[marian]

Actually, Nyanko, teenage boys tend to be pretty affectionate and protective towards their mamas sometimes, too. Mine will still kiss and hug me and tell me he loves me, even around his friends and his girlfriend. So I'm lucky that way.

I do kind of remember that type of smoochiness when he was about Henry's age, but between that and now, there was a whole lot of OTHER.

[Jaycee]

Awwwww...and my 14 year old just told me I was a fricking psycho!!! So, you see, it never ends--oh, I guess it did. But I guess I'm lucky he didn't use the actual F bomb. Anyway, the 8 year old still loves me. sigh.

[jes]

And how, exactly, did you climb on Henry's back? Inquiring minds want to know.

In fact, if you could arrange to digitally record it, that would be even better.

hop to it!

[kate]

My favorite Oedipus Complex story: when my friend's little boy was about Henry's age, he once said to his father: "Daddy, can you please move? You're blocking my view of mommy!" I say work it as long as you can!

[Bake Town]

Alas, the overwhelming love for mommy does come to screeching halt when puberty kicks it. But I have found, despite his age and size, I am the first person he turns to for comfort. And unconditional love, of course. I can’t imagine anything better.

[Deb]

Hey, it can last! MY almost 15 yr old ONLY son (of 4) just came home from school and hugged me, expressing sympathy that my car repairs are over $400.

Hey, we played the SHARK game too....and so did my teens....You are such a Cool Mom that you played along.

There is nothin' like it ladies, I am tellin ya! The absolute sweetest thing in the UNIVERSE and Alice, you must enjoy every single second!!

[sugarmama]

awwwww...so sweet!

I wish my boy would stillbe like that. The minute I give him a kiss when picking him up from his kindergaten class he's backing off already saying not now. Yeah, my 6 year old! He's too big of a guy you know.

[Owlhaven]

My 3 year old daughter often says, "LONG kiss, please??" And gives me this long drawn-out smooch. Embarrassing if out in public. But so precious. your little guy reminded me of her.
Mary, mom to many, most of whom have outgrown that most fervent mommy-love stage (boohoo)