Wow.

You sure are opinionated, when it comes to the eating habits of preschoolers. And many of you are also lurking about, apparently, because then you de-lurk and all hell breaks loose. It's okay--you may return to your former lurkiness. I see you, there in the hedges. Hi! Now you’re waving!

I have learned much from the 400-plus comments on the last post. (Yes, I did read them. Do you think I have anything better to do?) Here are my learnings!

1. Compared to some of your freakish offspring, my child enjoys a healthy variety of foodstuffs. (My favorite is the marshmallows-in-the-Lucky-Charms diet.)

2. The children who eat everything make up for their sophisticated palette by refusing to sleep (thankfully, we don’t have that problem at the Finslippy household).

3.The children who eat everything and sleep well belong to people I don’t want to talk to.

4. I’m kidding about that last part.

5. Forcing your child to eat certain foods will invariably lead to vomiting on the Fiestaware.

6. Not forcing your child to eat certain foods will either result in healthy eating habits or crippling food issues.

7. Many people take the time to comment and only write “Hi!” or its more formal variation, “Hello!”

8. Many people who read Finslippy live in my neighborhood, and are watching, ever watching. And that's fine! Excuse me while I lower my shades!

No, seriously, I liked all the comments! I did! I felt all popular and stuff. I wanted to mail all the comments I got to my junior-high tormentor who would send me threatening notes in Social Studies. YOUR UGLY MEET ME AFTER SCHOOL SO I CAN BEAT YOU UP. (If you’re going to spell it out for me like that, you think I’m going to show up? NO THANK YOU I AM GOING HOME TO WATCH THE LITTLE RASCALS AND EAT CHEESE SANDWICHES.) I don't know if she can receive mail at her mobile home, though, HA HA HA HA HA.

Who am I kidding. She's probably rich and her kid eats kimchee and octopus.

Anyway, I have a newfound appreciation of my son’s dietary habits, and smile tolerantly instead of screaming intolerantly when he squawks in horror at the sight of nutrition. He’s not eating any better, but I sure as hell am drinking more. And that works for me.

Comments

[Contary]

Geez, my kid is all those other kids rolled into one. One day, he will eat anything you put in front of him and ask for more and one day he really is only going to eat the marshmallows out of the Lucky Charms. (which I totally get, by the way. Pink hearts! Yellow moons! Orange stars! Who wouldn't want that?)

The good news is, his brother and sister are now 16 and 18 and ate exactly like he does and are now healthy young people with no eating disorders.

Of course, they're still messy as all hell, but a mother can only be expected to accomplish so much.

[lis]

Hot.

[lis]

Hot.

[alice]

Lis, are you watching me?

[christy]

I like your outfit. Mwah hah hah!

Just kidding. I live in central Illinois.

Or DO I?!?

[Meg]

It's NUTTY how people pop up into your life when you blog. I have about .054% as many readers as you do, but people from high school keep finding me. I find it odd to know that they're out there, seeking me for some odd reason (perhaps to kick my ass? who can know?). I don't have a weird-stuff eating kid, but I do read you whenever you post. I thought I'd delurk away from the crowd...

[alice]

Meg, you rebel. No wonder all those high school classmates are trying to find you.

[Meg]

Yes, the cool hasn't diminished after 13 years.

[Mrs. Kennedy]

Hello!

[Ali]

Yo!

My 3.5 year old son is partial to sugar-laden foods, to the exclusion of almost everything else. Oh, he'll also eat nasty nitrate-laden meats on the rare occasion. Woot.

[Lisa V]

My son sleeps well, eats everything, but commonly urinates in the heat vent in the bathroom.

[Lina]

My mum says she had a hard time geting me to eat when I was a kid. Actually, after 24 years, she still has a hard time getting me to eat. How odd...

[Sharon]

You mean my kid isn't the only one who considers the marshmallows in the Lucky Charms a separate food group?

When I lived in San Francisco and my oldest was but an infant (and this was really back in the day) I got the advice (from a couple down the hall whose pediatrician told it to them) that when teething, Jack Daniels applied to the gums doth wreak miracles. This is where I dutifully supplied the feed for the punch line: "I don't know. Doesn't the alcohol hurt the baby?" And all the parents in the room rose up as one and chanted, "Not for the baby. FOR YOU!"

[BeeJay]

Wait a few more turns of life's wheel, and it will be your parents you are trying to feed. One day they'll eat anything that isn't nailed down. The next day it's, "I'm not hungry," then you find them scarfing oreos and a half gallon of Rocky Road.

The light at the end of the tunnel is that, one day, you'll be able to return the favor to your kid. Makes the idea of growing old almost attractive. Almost. Maybe.

[wordgirl]

Your post was hysterical. It's interesting to see what subjects will bring people out of the wookwork. Clearly childrens' eating habits (or non-eating habits) generate a lot of empathy.

[mom on a wire]

I'm glad you are now on the tolerant bus. It may be the short bus in parenting land, but at least we spend the ride singing Kumbayah instead flinging spit wads. Who am I kidding, I'd kill to ride the tolerant bus.

[supa]

Wookwork! I spend a lot of time in there, wordgirl.

My son is on a strict crackers-only diet. Only after checking for signs of malnutrition -- oozing fingernails, oddly shaped legs -- and finding him lacking did I ease up on trying to force feed him something else.

Oh, totally kidding. Mealtimes, I hover over him like little girls on Cinderella. It's sad.

[Heather]

Hi there!

I feel your pain with the picky eating kid. Mine is almost two, and all meals must be accompanied with Yobaby. All of them. And Very Vanilla Soy Milk. Or he screams like I'm pulling his toenails off.

Plus, he desperately wants to hold the spoon, but only so he can use it as a catapult to better facilitate the feeding of our dog. Fun times.

[Abby]

I'm currently dating a 17 year old who eats about the same amount of things that Jackson eats and also REFUSES to try anything new or old!

Typical conversation about food:
ME: Do you like ________??
HIM: No.
ME: Have you ever tried it?
HIM: Not really. Maybe?
ME: SO TRY A TINY BITE!!
HIM: NO. It's gross.

At which point I generally try to just walk away to prevent the oh-so-common fight about how he's acting like a 4 year old and it pisses me off.

It's bad enough that he's 4 years YOUNGER than I am, I'd rather not feel like his babysitter too. :P

[Angela]

Yes, there is indeed very little difference between 4 year old boys and 17 year old boys--except, of course, for the fact that 17 year old boys are much scarier.

And Alice, as long as you've found a coping mechanism. Such a fun one at that!

[Psycho Kitty]

Abby, girl, wait until he's legal and willing to eat more.
Oh oh. That was the vodka talking. Sorry.

[cagey]

With my luck, my kid will be partial to a diet of peanuts, strawberries and honey. Can't WAIT for solids, I tell ya.

[emjaybee]

"My son sleeps well, eats everything, but commonly urinates in the heat vent in the bathroom."

This is the most terrifying thing I've read all day. Because when I found out I was having a boy, this is exactly the kind of thing that scared me. They're like having a urine-loaded squirt gun in the house, with those pee-pees. He won't be potty training for a while, but then it's going to be pee everywhere, isn't it? I mean, his dad still has bad aim occasionally....ew.

[KJ]

Today I took a 4-y-o and a 19-month-old to a diner. With my egg whites only please m-i-l. And got them both scrambled eggs with cheese and bacon, and you can have a healthy muffin or whole wheat toast with that? No, thanks, they each want a cruller. WIth icing. A giant cruller, and no, you can't cut it in half for them, thanks, because she wants chocolate and he wants maple.
And I had cruller french toast, which is made with day old crullers battered in egg and then fried AGAIN. Because I am pregnant.
And when she pointed out that they were only eating the frosting, I nodded cheerfully, as if she were really just telling me something, instead of, you know, TELLING me something.
Because I don't care anymore.

[Arabella]

I considered commenting on your last post to tell you where you could purchase blueberries locally for $2 per pint, but I was worried that you would think I was too obsessed with you. In reality, I'm just cheap, and I like blueberries. (Of course, they fluctuate with the market, so the information is probably useless anyway.)

[Abby]

Aside from the food and other slight random idiosyncracies (such as a fairly extreme germ phobia and a severe hatred of spoons), he's actually quite a sweet and mature-ish guy most of the time.

Good Lord, I swear he isn't as nuts as he sounds! Or maybe we're both weird and therefore offset each other?? =)

[Lori]

Oh man, I wish I had been one of the 400. And I wish I had a kid. One with creepy food issues so I could one up you! Instead I'll just be another dumb de-lurker saying hi or hello. And de-lurking week is probably over. Dammit! Never mind.

[alice]

Arabella, TELL ME WHERE. I will only think you're creepy if you give me the blueberries in person. In my bedroom. In the middle of the night.

[Lori]

I have 6 kids, all with different feeding issues. I'm thinking about not feeding them tomorrow. That'll teach them!

[liz]

When my son went through that the first time (we've been through about three phases of it) I just made (or ordered) things I liked (asparagus, sushi, parchment prawns), and served him things he'd like and would NOT let him taste what was on my plate. "No." I said. "This is for grown-ups"

Soon, he was BEGGING for a taste. BEGGING!

Forbidden fruit.

It works.

This has worked for

[Sarcomical]

as a kind-of-new reader, all i can say is DAYUM GIRL, you sure know how to generate some conversation! and also how to sum it up quite nicely. ;)

also, you should totally post a note to your tormenter on your blog that says I AM HOT AND EVERYONE LOVES ME AND ALSO YOU PROBABLY LIVE IN A VAN.

thanks for being so hilarious each. and. every. blessed. time.

[s]

My 3YO eats everything, sleeps 12 hours at night AND has a nap in the afternoon. On the other hand, she doesn't know her own name and has an aversion to using the potty.

Things are shaping up nicely around here.

[Amy Jo]

Hi there! I decided to wait a few days to un-lurk, so as not to get lost in the sauce. Thanks for writing so honestly about raising children. I am expecting my first in 4 weeks, and I enjoy your insight! Good luck!

[LoLo]

"Seven Silly Eaters" was the book that changed life around here. (I wish)

[Nothing But Bonfires]

Sure, her kid probably eats kimchee and octopus THAT HE STOLE AFTER ROBBING A LITTLE OLD LADY. And they won't serve that to him when he ends up in jail.

[Sharyn]

I meant to de-lurk last post, but here I am instead. My six year-old's pickiness didn't rear its ugly head until he was about four. Certain family members of ours have tried to blame it on the fact that we're vegan...but I found the blog of this vegan mom whose seven year-old loves, LOVES brussels sprouts. And tamales. And kiwi. And everything else she gives him. Boy, do I ever feel inadequate. I hope it's just a phase (the pickiness and the accompanying feelings of inadequacy). At least the boy sleeps well, and takes his vitamins. Sigh.

[Karen Sugarpants]

Your shades are blocking my view. From Canada.
:)
456 comments! HOLY SHITBALLS!

[honestyrain]

wow, people sure have a lot to say about kids and food and kids and everything in general. everyone is an expert.

i've got one of each. a kid who eats what you put in front of him and always has. loves sushi, broccoli, soup, whatever. the other one? the other one eats precisely four things: crackers, crackers, crackers and yogurt. so whatever theories people offer suck because it's the kid. i growed mine the same way and look: different.

offer the food, they'll eat what they eat but don't (and here's where me expertise SHINES) go around treating them like all they eat is (fill in the blank) because you'll stop offering and stop trying to get them to eat other things and all will be lost. they will develop scurvey and other dietary illnesses like Only Eats Crackers and Yogurt disease.

also, mine eat different but sleep the same so that theory is crapola. so says i and i am an expert.

[Diana]

When I checked in on the last post, you only had a hundred and some odd comments, and I said to myself "I'm not going to comment, she has enough to read".
HA! That was funny...
Anyway, my son only eats whats on my plate. He's 15 months. Literally, he just sticks his hand in my food. And says "Dis?"
Anything I eat. I guess he figures "If she's eating it it must be fine."

[bee]

heh. All these comments made me have to go eat some chicken nuggets. Now I'm going to take a nap. As for my daughter? Everyone has their price. We bribe her to eat vegetables. It's working so far...

[Lala]

My kid recently discovered shrimp. He's 13. Hummus and pita has been a staple of his dite since he was 2. Thank g-d for garlic.
Get Henry a big brother/step brother, he'll try anything they do. Works for our family! heh

[Shelli]

"Receive mail in her mobile home..." Ha Ha Ha. You slay me!

[Wendy]

Umm, yeah, remember how I told you how great my daughter is with her eating of salad and what not?

I forgot to mention that the other 99% of what she eats must be doused in ketchup.

It's gross, I sometimes can't watch :-) But hey, she's happy.

And yet, the child will not let a tomato cross her lips...

[suzanne]

dude, what's (a) kimchee?

[TB]

I once knew a woman whose son would eat nothing green for years. Including parsley sprinkled atop a cheese pizza. And I went through a phase for a few weeks where the bulk of my nine year old diet consisted of twizzlers and rice cakes.
Keep drinking. Everything will be fine.

[Abby]

PS (8 years later)- I so meant HENRY, not Jackson. That's what I get for reading your blogs back-to-back! :)

[Arabella]

I think they were at the Met Food on 7th Avenue around 2nd Street. There's also a greengrocer with reasonably priced fruit about two blocks north of that, also on 7th, near a liquor store (not that I'd know anything about THAT).

I'd also suggest frozen, but even child-free me knows that a 3-year-old boy would never entertain the notion of consuming the oddly-shaped THAWED version of something he usually likes.

Can I come to your bedroom in the middle of the night if I bring rum cake instead of blueberries? You probably throw a good slumber party.

[Mrs. Kennedy]

I was going to say, did you rename Henry? How cute that we have sons with the same name now!

I read "Bread and Jam for Francis" every now and then to Jackson, it made him want to try hard-boiled eggs.

[liz]

My almost four-year-old has a specific list of foods she will eat and there are rules about how many of them may be eaten. Fortunately, she loves rice which allows us to eat out at Asian and Mexican restaurants. We still take her out though, even if she won't eat anything on the menu. I just feed her first and she can damn well sit there and color because I want pizza and it's not my fault she won't eat it!

[Coelecanth]

Ok, we're still on food fun. As a young lad I loved, and I mean LOVED, to eat Alphabits on toast. Wouldn't touch anything else. I can't imagine what my mother thought.