Rotten fruit from a pretty tree.

After Henry and Scott leave for Henry’s school (Henry deigning to leave me with a distracted “I, uh, love you too” and a limp wave as he is wheeled down the stairs) I head out with Charlie. It’s overcast and damp from last night’s rain. The wind is thrashing the trees around, the leaves are swirling all over the sidewalk, and Charlie is leaping and snapping at them. It’s perfect.

We go for a longer walk than we usually do, and at each block Charlie looks up at me as if to say, “We…we’re not heading back? We’re still going? Are you shitting me?” and then he resumes his cavorting and peeing.

The ginkgo trees have begun dropping their uniquely nasty fruits all over the sidewalks. I don’t know if these trees are everywhere, but if you’re not familiar with them—take it from me. The fruit smells like puke. Charlie won’t even pee on it, that’s how bad it is.

Across the street, there’s a man in a business suit wearing latex gloves and holding a large bag. He’s carefully picking the fruits off of a car and dropping them into a bag. This strikes me as reasonable—would you want your car smelling like vomit?—but then I see him continuing his work on another car. As we walk, I can’t help but look back, and he’s moved onto a third.

Either he’s the most thoughtful neighbor ever, or that is going to be one indescribably foul pie.

UPDATE!: Apparently the ginkgo fruit is used in various Asian delicacies. Carry on, sir!

Comments

[mignon]

I was in Singapore a couple years ago and they have a fruit that tastes exactly like someone has crapped and vomited into your mouth simultaneously. And the locals know it - they say it's an acquired taste. And they love to test it out on foreigners. Like me. Twice.

[Michelle]

^^

I do believe the above poster is referring to Durian, a fruit so smelly that it is forbidden to consume in public in some places.

[Bob]

SEND THIS MAN TO MY HOUSE! I have a ginkgo in my front yard, and yes, lord, the fruit smells to high heaven. I keep the tree mostly because right now the leaves are turning a golden yellow and the tree is beautiful. Then, when the leaves fall, there's a golden halo around the trunk.

I must say that these ginkgo fruit-loving people have to work hard, as the seed is almost as big as the fruit - i.e. very little flesh. They make a crunchy sound when you step on them, though I have to then wash my shoes to keep the nastyness from coming inside.

The fruit do their job increadably well, too. Every spring I have a ton of little gingkos growing under the big one.

[traci]

those trees are so so lovely, but good god the fruits stick! they line my walk to the park in our neighborhood. lucky for me the big drop happened a few weeks back and all that remains are dried up smudges on the sidewalk. good luck.

[traci]

i meant "stink", not "stick"... i guess i was so overwhelmed by the thought of that smell i fell apart...anyway, you get it.

[Mir]

I am SO bookmarking this for the next time I want to bitch about all the pine needles in my yard....

[cagey]

I am jealous - here in Kansas City, we must go to ethnic grocery stores to view such exoticness. Lucky New Yorkers! :-)

[Jen]

I'm not sure if it's Ginkgos, but there is something similar blanketing Columbia, South Carolina. I literally held my breath as I walked by those bastards. Gross.

[LOD]

Never underestimate the delectability of a steaming plate of Puke Chow Fun.

[MonoCerdo]

When I first read your title, I thought you were making a derogatory reference to your son.

[Julia R.]

You learn something new every day:
Everything below is quoted from
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ginkgo
(But there is a lot more info there.)

Female plants do not produce cones. Two ovules are formed at the end of a stalk, and after pollination, one or both develop into seeds. The seed is 1.5-2 cm long. Its outer layer (the sarcotesta) is light yellow-brown, soft, and fruit-like. It is plum-like and attractive, but contains butanoic acid and thus smells like rancid butter (which contains the same chemical).
The seed is edible after removing the ovary pulp, shelling, and after being cooked. An overdose of the fruit could cause poisoning because the fruit produces hydrogen cyanide as a side product. It is reported that a dozen raw ginkgo fruits are toxic enough to kill a small child, though this has yet to be proven.
In some areas, most intentionally planted trees are male stock grafted onto roots propagated from seed, because the male trees will not produce the malodorous fruits (although the seeds within are quite tasty, and a delicacy in Asia).

[madge]

P.U. Beware the bicycle wheel stroller during the fall in Park Slope. I walked around my apartment for days wondering what the hell was stinking up the joint. All those lovely ginko fruits stuck up in the treads were a bitch to clean.

Thanks for the memoreeee...

[E]

Send him my way! We have them in Philadelphia and I inevitably step in them while walking the dogs, bring them in the house and think, "Hmm, what's that smell? Did I step in dog sh**?" EVERY FALL I do this. One of these years I'll remember and just CROSS THE STREET!

[Cecily]

Here in Philly, you see older asian women picking up the fruit all the time. They wash the pulp off while wearing gloves, then take 'em home and bake them. I bought some once in China Town, and they are damn tasty, I must say.

Here's a couple bizarre tidbits about Ginko trees: the ones planted in the US were originally all male--but after growing for about fifty years, some of the trees actually CHANGED THEIR SEX SO THEY COULD BEAR FRUIT. Wild, huh?

Plus you know, of course, that they are from a species that originally went extinct, but seeds were found somewhere and the tree revived. I bet you're happy about that.

[Julie]

Flashback to my childhood - my grandparents' neighbor had a gingko tree, and I still remember that stink.

As a child, I thought that boxwood smelled bad, but now I like it. I guess it's like beer - the taste grows on you.

[Eulallia]

Ew!

[MFA Mama]

Ugh--I used to live on a street lined with Ginkgos and it was SO FOUL...LOL I was just blogging about that neighborhood and looking back I can't believe I ever lived there...normally you could smell a fair bit of puke on the street from the local winos, but Ginkgo season made that seem like a pleasant bouquet by comparison. I dislike the smell of Bradford Pears in bloom almost as much, though--won't say what it smells like, but ewwww.

[Candice]

yeah ginkgo delicacy? sounds great. No, it doesn't.

[mamabird]

I, too, thought the title was some reference to Henry/Alice! Not that you would ever say that. But it've been funny if you did...

[kelly]

Squashed pukey-smelling ginko fruit is one of my strongest olfactory memories of living in the slope. Just. Nasty.

Amazing how that stench on every sidewalk can ruin a perfectly happy autumn walk. Can't say I miss that.

[blackbird]

maybe.
but now that I have read this I believe it won't be in any Asian delicacies I order.

[Dorothy]

I went to college in Iowa City. They brought gingko trees in from Asia. Or somewhere. And they planted them all over campus.

Let me repeat that. They purposely imported trees with fruit that smell like dogshit vomit.

All the stereotypes about Iowans are true. I am one, and the gingko trees, they make me ashamed of my ancestors.

[Christy]

"Here's a couple bizarre tidbits about Ginko trees: the ones planted in the US were originally all male--but after growing for about fifty years, some of the trees actually CHANGED THEIR SEX SO THEY COULD BEAR FRUIT."

Cecily - that's what the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park did and look how well that turned out. Beware, world! The ginkos will soon have you upside down in your suv while trying to eat your head!

[alice]

The title of the post was a paraphrased reference. "Eat rotten fruit from a shitty tree"? No one? No one knows it?

[Belinda]

OK, I had two thoughts when I first read about the man picking up the stinkfruit off all the cars:
1. He is a very enterprising sort, and has found a niche occupation in performing a service no one else wants to, like a professional pooper-scooper.
2. He is looking to poisong someone.

There may be something wrong with me.

[Belinda]

POISON, not "poisong." I guess the latter would be when you kill someone with bad singing?

[Tessa]

Long time reader, first time poster. Delurking to point out that gingko is supposed to be good for memory, and from what I remember of the Botany class I took, it's an ancient, ancient tree that's basically unchanged since the time of the dinosaurs.

[Laziza]

Ooh! Ooh! MR. SHOW! Ten cool points for you, missy!

[Rebecca]

Better yet, Belinda, "poisong" is the act of slowly torturing someone to death by singing Poison songs. Beware the "Unskinny Bop".

[clickmom]

Gingko trees are popular in cities because they grow straight up and not out. '

The scent of the gingko is actually one of the things that connects me to my youth. I am one of those people that recalls everything with smells. I also like the smell of cow poop and skunk, but do not get me started on the stench of the Ralph Lauren perfume in the red square bottle. I could wretch-talk about shit!!

[DM]

Ooh! I think this is the weird fruit that my one roommate got my other roommate to eat at the restaurant we were at. And so after she tells me how horrid it is and she almost puked, she tells me to try it. Because, yeah, with that build up how could I not try it? She was obviously insane.

[Betsy]

Ginko trees were all over the place growing up in Tokyo. I LOVE them... but I do admit they smell foul in the fall. The golden leaves totally make up for it, though. And the ginko nuts taste sooo good. They put them in chawamushi, a savory custard, and it's my favorite part of the dish. Mmmmmmm!!!

[Vena]

i was convinced for months that there was some bum that was taking his daily shit out side of this church that is on my way to work because it smelled so fucking vile. then a co-worked informed me of the true origin of the nastiness. i can't believe people plant that tree on purpose.

[steph]

"The seed is edible after removing the ovary pulp, shelling, and after being cooked. An overdose of the fruit could cause poisoning because the fruit produces hydrogen cyanide as a side product. It is reported that a dozen raw ginkgo fruits are toxic enough to kill a small child."

-well, I guess it's a good think they stink!

[steph]

ha ha!
nice Freudian.

[Meagan]

I have been spelling ginkgo wrong my entire life. I think maybe I spelled it gingko or ginko. I don't even know. I'm just sure it wasn't ginkgo. Sometimes I wonder how I get my pants on in the morning.

[anne]

i am so glad that it was a mr. show reference and not an abel meeropol reference, because a "pastoral scene of the gallant [northeast]" would be one of those jokes that would be sort of funny and would also make me sort of uncomfortable, and i like to think of you as being at least slightly more nuanced and sensitive than i am.

[alice]

I think my Mr. Show reference makes me automatically less nuanced and sensitive than you are. If, instead of a title, I could put up a picture of a butt, I probably would.

[LetterB]

I am getting a little off topic now but re mr show: apparantly there is a fake david cross making the rounds in nyc that is claiming to be the real david cross and trying to pick up unsuspecting female fans. Don't get duped alice! Even if he promises to hand feed you roasted ginkgo nuts. (I too have been misspelling ginkgo my whole life. So glad your commenter made me notice)

[emjaybee]

Bradford pears! God I hate those trees. Developers love them because they are symmetrical and grow fast, and have pretty white blossoms, but the blossoms give me a raging headache; they stink in an indescribable sort of way...not poop, but a metallicy/poopy smell. I was really mad when they planted some in my old Hell's Kitchen neighborhood. I had to change my walking route until the blossoms fell off.

Trees that fruit in general are just a bad idea for cities, I don't know why people think it's a good idea. There's always lots of rotting fruit and flies, and splatter on the sidewalk. Yick.

[tiny cricket]

i remember collecting ginkgo fruit with my mom, wearing latex gloves and gagging from the odor. she used to roast the pits...once you crack open the seeds, the roasted fruit inside is actually pretty darn good...don't knock it until you've tried it. =)

[ozma]

I wonder about the word 'delicacy.' Does it mean: Something incredibly horrible that the Other (capitalization is compliments of grad school) likes? Do we call any of our food delicacies, (I say, in a fake politically correct way)?

But I'm glad I browsed through the comments. Now I know that if I go to New York in the Fall I can kill myself if I happen to be short on cash.

[scott]

I just like that emjaybee began her post with the exclamation, "Bradford pears!" It's a little like shouting "Great Caesar's ghost!" and then letting your cigar fall to your desk as Clark Kent and Jimmy Olsen recoil in surprise...

[mignon]

I agree fruit trees in the city is a bad idea, but maybe not so bad as our plan to envigorate our boring grass yard with some pears and apples. We woke up in the middle of the night this summer to our dog going nuts by the back door as a couple bears snacked on our landscaping.
And about the American delicacies, I recall some Japanese visitors saying Jell-O is disgusting and my Australian friend thinks root beer tastes like bad kids' medicine (Aussies do eat that crap vegemite, though). I also remember someone from Europe saying peanut butter was like flavored oil paint.

[liz]

A friend of mine down here in VA was talking about wanting to plant a tree and "Ginkgos are so pretty!"
"You don't want one." I said.
"Why not?"
"Have you ever smelled the fruit they drop in the fall?"
"No."
"Two words, Beer Puke."

She won't be getting a ginkgo.

[Laurie]

Bradford pear blossoms smell like semen. And not freshly released semen, but the nasty dried sheetstain morning after semen. Sort of fishy-metallic-bleachy. Not that I know what that smells like.

[walter Bauer]

Any fruit this strange should ignite the imagination of Chem or Bio Grad students. Could be there's an undiscovered benefit here somewhere. At least a subject for a research paper.

[Li_Hong_Kuan]

No one would believe in this: the fruit is made into a famous dish by the cook of the Confucius family, hundreds years ago in the Song Dynasty.
Here's the original story:
http://www.online.tj.cn/chaoran/kongfu7.htm

The dish is officially called: Poetry Ritual Ginko. This dish is well-known in the Shandong Style of Chinese cooking, which is one of the 8 major famous cooking systems in China.

The Recipe is here:
http://food.icxo.com/htmlnews/2004/07/19/269778.htm

You can taste this dish in an upper class restaurant in a big place such as Tianjin, with advance reservation. Try this one:

[KCD]

All of you are dummies. The Bradford Pear smell is reminiscent (no pun intended) of rotting meat. The reason? Carrion Flies are-were-responsible for sreading the pollen. So guess what? The "smell" evolved to attract it's main ally.

Semen- For Christ's sake, how old was the guy?