Read this...

This totally changed my thinking about Ritalin. I still think it's overprescribed (and I know that's not the most original thought I've ever had), but as this post shows, sometimes it changes lives. Anyway, flea is amazing. And she sells sex toys! There's something for everyone on her blog!

Comments

[Eulallia]

Wow, what a dramatic change in that little boy. It's nice to hear such a heartfelt and honest story, instead of sifting through all of the judgement and criticism people spew about Ritalin.

[Mir]

Ritalin AND sex toys? I think I'm in love.

It's very easy to pass judgement on medicating children until you have a child who requires medication to function. How nice of flea to put it so much more eloquently than most of us ever could.

[ben]

That was great! Of course, they had me at "sex toys" but I also read every word of the entry, since I'm surrounded by ADD kids and also looked down upon because I can't seem to control them.

[renee]

damn. i may be the most stubborn anti-ritalin mom ever (witness my most recent post), but that one made me want to go out and get my little hercules some meds. well, maybe not quite. but still! that's a very persuasive testimony, there. thanks for linking to that.

[flea]

This explains why my hits doubled today. Thanks, Alice!

[Kari]

Thanks for the link, Alice. I am definitely intrigued.

I have written a lot on my blog about my own experience with behavioral difficulties. My son has been diagnosed with PDD-NOS (on the autistic spectrum) but it is the sort of thing that can frequently be smashed into the same category as ADD/ADHD.

At this time, I am not ready to medicate my son because I see some confounds. I agree that it can be very useful in some cases, and I am glad this is one such case!

The medication debate is one which is very difficult for both "sides" as well as those caught in the middle!

I have been waiting for a well-written piece about the same "differences" I have experienced. Thank you for leading me to Flea's post. (I will now go comment on her site!)

[blackbird]

I haven't read Flea's post -- am on my way...but I do want to say that I was a cloth diaper-no white flour - no refined sugar mom for my Oldest. He was diagnosed with adhd at 4. I resisted medication until he was 6.
An hour after his first tablet he asked me who had shut the radio off. You know, he explained, that radio that makes that noise in my head all the time?
He is 20 now, and takes Ritalin when HE feels he needs it.
I fought so hard against it and without going into a lot of ugly details here, I can only tell you
It saved our lives.

[Jerri Ann]

Without all the background knowledge, I personally watched this same kind of tranformation in a small child in the school I taught in. He would come to school unmedicated. Basically, he was to be given ritalin at breakfast and lunch. But, his mother would intentionally skip the morning dose so that the school would have to adminster it. Then, of course, she could adminnister the second dose at home and could have reprieve then. I'm not faulting her, she had her hands full with him. But, the first concern had to be his behavior at school.

I taught jr. high, but on the days that mom didn't give him his medicine, he would come to my room (he was a Kindergarten) and sit. We would all watch in amazement as he went from standing in his chair, tossing crayons from one end of the table to the other to sitting on his bottom, coloring a picture and placing the crayons back in the box.

I too was of the belief that ritalin was over-used. And, possibly it is, but that one child that needs it and gets it has to be the reprieve to all of those parents out there dealing with just what the parents in the blog you linked to were forced to deal with.

[BeeJay]

Okay, I have no kids, but it seems to me that if you've got a kid acting like that, that kid deserves the chance to feel better. I think we can all agree that life is not fun for that unmedicated kid. If the meds are too much or aren't working, given a fair chance, then ace them, but to refuse to give the meds, and the child, a chance seems really short-sighted and selfish to me.

This from a person who has bad reactions to almost any med she's ever taken, but, sometimes, you just have to give it a try because the alternative is worse.

[suburban misfit]

After my son's first dose (almost a year after we tried everything else, and failed), he said, "I like this new medicine because it makes the noise in my brain stop and I can think."

There are days he doesn't want it; we don't make him take it. But the next day he says, "Yesterday was a 'no med' day and the noise came back." I think he's just testing to see if he can be without it yet.

I tell him that hopefully someday he won't mind the noise and he won't have to take the meds anymore.

It saved our lives, and his academic life; he LOVES school now that he can sit long enough to learn something. He's even in the enrichment pull-out classes.

Like Mir said, it's easy to be anti-something until you have experience in that something.

[Susan]

Thank you for linking to this.

Now I need a tissue.

[DM]

Isn't flea wonderful? I love reading her blog and was so happy to read that post. I get people who tell me I shouldn't need to take Effexor and I want to tell them, fine, you deal with me when I try to jump out of the window because I can't deal with my life anymore. Chemical imbalances suck. Thank God there is something that can help straighten things out in some cases.

[miel]

My sister took ritalin...and she just did better and better in school until she didn't need it anymore. Her disability was severe in one sense--she could barely write or spell or do math...and not severe in another--she was smart as hell...That's one thing people may not realize: it's possible to be brilliant and unable to write a gramatically correct sentence.

It's hard to see that--to see somene you love with so much potential struggle to do what comes easy to others 10X less driven and engaged. Whatever helped her, I approve of. Sometimes she didn't like the ritalin since her firecracker brain also made her very witty and the ritalin would stop that...but she made it, went to college, made the deans list, grad school...She could hardly read until 4th grade.

I found out too late that you can snort it! Back in high school (when my sister was taking ritalin) I'm sure that would have been my idea of fun. I had no learning disability (I don't think) but I was a dumb kid.

[frog]

flea rocks. How good that more people will know about her because of you're link. :)

[frog]

YOUR. Not you're. How embarrassing.

[JuJuBee]

That was such a touching post. Anytime I find myself judging other parents,which I believe we all do because of our own insecurities about parenting, I will remember that story. What a brave little boy and thank god he is feeling better :)

[Kat]

Thank you for sharing this link.

[mathew]

Medication is a wonderful, glorious thing - when you can afford it and when it is correctly prescribed. I've known myself to be depressed since I was in my early teens but I ignored the problem until I was 20 or so and was living my life in slow-motion (text book case, other than suicidal tendencies - I like myself too much for that). And so I was put on medication and things were going great (This is how normal people feel??? Damn you all to hell!) but then I could no longer afford the medication and, some 4 years later, here I am back to where I was before.

It's easy to judge other people and we're all pretty much conditioned to do it; we see a person, we can say exactly what's wrong with them and we know what they should do. But can that person afford to help themselves? Do they even have the ability to do so? And by the way, hey, you're hella nosey bucko. I guess I would say my policy is to be understanding up until the point where it is no longer warranted and if you have to deal with a person who has problems, whether it's a neighbor, a spouse or your own child, don't put your judgement on them, they have their own problems - just try to help in whatever way you can.

[DoctorMama]

I've always wondered why people aren't willing to just try medication. I love patients who make up their own minds about treatment, but it's hard to have a reasonable opinion about something you've never experienced.

[chris]

Unless you live with a child who needs medication, you can not imagine what it is like. I honestly do not think that children are being overmedicated. It is not an easy decision to medicate your child, and I have yet to speak with a single parent who made the decision lightly.

Having ADHD isn't just a matter of having more energy than the average child. My son has absolutely no impulse control. We used to joke that he never had a thought he didn't share. He would also hit, kick, and punch with no thoughts of what the consequences would be for his actions. No sort of discipline, punishment, or delayed gratification worked. And we tried them all.

My son is like a completely new child. He can concentrate enough to read novels now, where a year ago he couldn't focus enough to read a sentence. He can carry on a conversation. My son also talks about the "noise" in his head and how his brain works too fast and confuses him when he isn't taking medication. ADHD really is a misnomer. Children aren't NOT paying attention to things, they are paying attention to everything indiscriminantly. the bird chirpping outside the window is just as important as the teacher in front of the classroom as is the person walking by in the hall.

[Julie]

Alice, thanks for the link. Amazing story, and an education for me too.

[verna]

Thanks for the link!

My doc is totally against medication until everything else is tried - and fails. We did special diets, we did strict schedules, we did NO schedules, we tried sever punishment, no punishment...EVERYTHING.

Ritalin? Saved my daughter's life. Seriously - she was impossible to live with - if she had a thought, she did it. No matter what it was - "gee, wonder what breaking glass sounds like?" CRASH. All. the. bloody. time.

I was on the principal's speed dial. In first grade, I got an average of 3 calls a day - EVERY day.

The summer before her 2nd grade year, the doc said "Let's try ritalin" at which point I actually jumped up and hugged him. There was an immediate difference. It was Bliss - I actually found myself Liking my child for the first time in years.

She's on Concerta now, and on the Honor Roll in 3rd grade. Her teacher loves her, and can't believe all the stories I've (and her other teachers, and the therapist) have told her.

It kept me out of jail for attempted murder...*weak grin*

[Amy]

Living with a child with this problem is something no one can understand until they have lived it, day in and day out. It can drain every ounce of energy in the whole family.

It is heartbreaking to see their little spirits dampened when they are shunned by others, children and adults alike.

I hope my 7 year old doesnt have to stay on medication and that it hasn't begun a vicious cycle of medications that will follow him into his adult life, but right now, today, he is a much happier child with it. The progress is slow and gradual, but those days when you don't have to scream all day and the "red bears" turn into "green bears" and they come home and tell you they have a new friend or two and the teacher tells you what a delight your child is to teach - those days it all makes sense. I had to be talked into meds by our family doctor (and my child is his one and only patient on ADD meds) and he put it like this - If your child needed glasses to help him learn better, you would get them, right? If your child had trouble walking and needed special shoes, you would get them right?
Right.

[Jenn]

Thanks so much for pointing me in Flea's direction, wow. Her post was beautiful -- she sounds like one amazing lady. (Plus: Sex toys and Ritalin, two great tastes that go great together.)

[Bren]

See, here's the thing: Ritalin is still being handed out like aspirin, and that's wrong. The problem is, behavioral disabilites are so hard to diagnose. Ritalin is not for everyone, but it is for some. Just like anti-depressants aren't always the best cure for depression, but for some it's critical. It still makes me wary of children and young adults who are being over-medicated, but it doesn't mean that medicine isn't the answer for some. I just hate the way she was treated by complete strangers. It's hard enough being a parent without someone you don't know telling you how horrible both you and your child are.

P.S. - Hooray for Henry and preschool! I was the same way. I never got homesick at summer camp, either. My parents were so distraught they had another kid they could make totally co-dependant on them. Problem with that is, THEY NEVER MOVE OUT OF YOUR HOUSE. And you want your house back, right? Take this as a sign that he'll be well-adjusted and not living with you after he graduates college.

[Laura]

Thank you for this insightful link. I am a school psychologist, and have been part of this struggle for correct diagnosis and treatment for many families. It is difficult to watch a family go through this process, especially when they resist meds and several professionals think meds would be beneficial. The professionals at school want what is best for the child, too. I may print this story to share with parents. It would make my job easier.

That being said, now that I am a parent of two girls (one three years old, and one 8 months old), I hope if I ever have to deal with this, I will remember to keep an open mind to all options.

Thank you for a serious thought on a blog that otherwise makes me laugh out loud daily!

[Lala]

I echo everyone's thanks for directing me to her story. My son has been on Ritalin for 7 years and, if he weren't, one of the two of use would be in some kind of Institution.

[JustLinda]

Yeah, I kind of changed MY mind on that subject too, when it hit home for me. My 3rd daughter was diagnosed. We haven't gone the medication route yet, we're doing behavior management. But it soooo could be in our future. Because my girl? My baby girl? She's kind of socially ostracized because she's such a little dork and she cannot seem to control her behavior and she often feels horribly because (in her words) she "can't do anything right". My heart breaks for her. Someday, I may be looking into a bottle of Ritalin to fix my broken heart and help her cope with life. We'll see.

[anonymous this time]

I was on Ritalin for years until it started making me paranoid. In high school I tried to go back on medication, but the side effects were screwing me up worse than my ADD. Every so often I still dream about going back on meds--I squandered my college career, not going to class and failing subjects. I've gotten in credit card debt and often "forget" about my bills so I don't need to pay them. I've wasted almost every opportunity I've had since high school, and I feel like it is impossible for me to live up to my potential. I drive my husband nuts by being able to recite 17th century poetry off the top of my head, yet forgetting to unload the dishwasher or keep my cell phone charged. I don't find fulfillment at my job, and spend too much time on the internet and watching TV and reading crappy books. I struggle every day with this goddamn disease, and it is getting so much harder instead of so much easier, and I don't see a way out. I'm afraid for any kids we'll have, for the mental illnesses that are lurking in our family history, waiting to claim them. I want to wipe my slate clean and just start over and not fuck everything up so badly this time. I hope getting that little boy medication means that he won't follow my path.

[julia]

see, now, to me this is very interesting. You hear all the time that Ritalin is being "handed out like aspirin." Really? Where do we get this information? Because it's so oft-repeated? Because the media says it's a problem? I think this is a pop culture myth.

In my own sphere of living, I haven't seen it. I was a teacher in a lower socio-economic area and my observation was that about 1 in 50 children were dosed. Now I'm a mother of a two-year-old, and among all the kids at all the playgroups I've been in and out (there are always older siblings), I've met no one. Not that I haven't met kids that probably should be.

And for the most accurate evidence, look at flea's story. She spent years and thousands of dollars in therapy before anyone would even think about writing out a prescription. Does it sound like the medical community is all about drugging children, from this story?

And I think this persistent rumor that "everyone is on ritalin" when they "don't need to be" keeps some parents from trying it when they really should, when it could really help their children. I think some parents are tricked into being particularly protective by a lie ... I'm not saying that the instinct is wrong, of course one should be careful, but it's a shame they are made to feel that medicating their children would mean they are indiscriminating, lazy, part of some huge problem.

[crabby]

were it not for ritalin, i think my younger brother would be no more.
i'm sure i would have grasped him about the neck tightly and persistently if he wouldn't stop stomping all over the house screaming like he was wont to do.

[Heron]

It's a sad tale. ADHD/ADD is such a real thing, and so many people think it's just a myth. This is fueled by the media doing stories about overprescription of ADD. Something to keep in mind is the very dangerous myth that ADD/ADHD goes away in adulthood. It does NOT go away. Some milder cases can learn coping skills without meds, but these are fewer than you would think. My husband is severely ADD and struggled for years, thinking he was just a worthless slacker because he couldn't hold jobs or pay bills and didn't know what was wrong with him. When he finally got re-diagnosed and medicated at 30, it was like a fog lifted. He still struggles sometimes, but it is so much incredibly better than it was. I never know what the problem was until I read a similar tale of a person who had a relationship with a severely ADD person. A lightbulb went on, and I called him up, because I remembered that he mentioned being ADD as a kid and having to take meds. Our son is showing a lot of the same symptoms as the child in this post, but you can be sure I will not hesitate to try meds. We learned our lesson about it already.

[Sarah]

I'm a 40-year-old woman who's on meds for both ADD and depression. Just call me "better living through chemistry." I was a kid w/ADD in the classic dreamy space-cadet girl mode (it didn't bug any adult enough for me to get a diagnosis). I morphed into a really driven motormouth adult w/ADD. I was miserable and I pissed people off and I didn't know why I was doing it, but I couldn't stop myself.

Thank God a therapist's suggestion drove me to seek an appointment with a neurologist. I was diagnosed with ADD five years ago, and have been taking Adderall since then. Nobody would say to me, "You're not going to have wear contact lenses for THE REST OF YOUR LIFE, are you? I mean, you'll get over the nearsightedness thing, right?" So they can damn well keep their mouths shut about what those of us with ADD or depression -- or those of us who love people who have ADD or depression -- do to mend our own minds, or those of our loved ones.

[Christel]

My son Liam can't read without his Ritalin. I agree it is overprescribed... but used when necessary does miracles.

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