Two-year-olds are fun! Dear god, help me!

A while back Henry turned two, and on that day I said something on this blog about what a wonderful, upstanding citizen he’s turned into, how full of sweetness and light.

And then a few hours after his birthday had ended, we were sitting down for a pleasant Play-Doh filled afternoon when he said to me, “Dearest mother, would you like to see something funny?” and he turned his head away and tugged at his chin and his beaming rosy-cheeked face slipped off his skull and what turned back to me was a screeching demon-boy who went BLALALALALALALALAAAAAIIII.

And just like that, My Baby became The Asshole In the Other Room.

I have dubbed him this because I am often forced to flee from him. Because while I can handle a few minutes of deafening shrieks, hours and hours of it tends to make the nerves itch. It tends to make one want to claw at one’s gums until blood issues forth.

He’s having some tantrums, is what I’m saying.

He’s had a few tantrums before. But not these tantrums. The other tantrums were amusing previews of the epic horror that was to come. Before Two arrived, if he became frustrated he would periodically throw himself to the ground and carry on for, say, ten or twenty minutes. During which time I would endeavor to figure out the source of the trouble, and he would weep and rend his garments and exclaim that no one understood him; eventually communication would be established and we would dry our tears and have cookies and sing, tra la la. La. And oh! What a fine and good parent I was, back then! See how happy my son was! And it was all my doing, hoo-ray for me!

So a few days After Two, he woke up from his nap and was a little out of sorts. The first thing he requests in such a case is TV. But I had decided that he had had too much TV that day, and after all we have baskets and baskets of toys, and maybe we could just cuddle for a while, wouldn’t that be---

But no. He did not want cuddling. Dear god no.

This is when the screaming began. I explained to him that television would not be in the offing. That we had watched enough. That television was “all done.” That the television was “sleeping.” (Why do I feel the need to anthropomorphize every household object? The other day he pulled a stack of towels down to the ground and then kissed them to “make it all better.” I’ve created a kid who is afraid that our dishrags might think ill of him.)

Anyway. He wanted the television to wake up.

Have I mentioned that he’s over 35 pounds? That he wears clothing made for four-year-olds, and he’s almost broken my head on several occasions? Just so you understand—the screaming in and of itself, while painful, is just part of the tantrum experience. The rest of it—the punching and kicking, the hair-pulling, the climbing up my body like a furious toddler-sized King Kong—is what generally sets me to running. And because The Law thinks it’s a bad idea for me to lock him in an apartment unattended*, blar de blar, my only escape is to the other room. Which is where I went.

(*Once, when I was bemoaning being trapped at home because I couldn’t go out with Henry, a friend of mine suggested, “Just light a candle. Because you’re not supposed to leave a candle unattended either, so, you know, you could leave the two of them together.” I don’t know why that struck me as so funny. I clearly didn’t write it funny enough right here. Forget I said anything.**)

(**Note that I could have just deleted it, but leaving it here gives my blog a certain immediacy, a gritty dose of reality that is missing from so many other blogs. Hi! Welcome to Finslippy!)

This entry is quickly losing steam and I have to go to bed. My point is that he screamed for TWO HOURS. (Not all of it with me in the other room, I should add. I left him for all of two minutes. His weeping was too pathetic, and so I was tricked into joining him again so he could punch me some more. Joke's on me!)

And do you know what happened that ended the tantrum? Do you know why he stopped crying?

C’mon. Guess. I want you to guess. Here’s a clue: the answer is not “I didn’t turn on the television, that’s for sure!”

p.s. I hate me.

Comments

[anne]

loving my boy when he was two was like breathing while driving past a particularly nasty factory, situated in a cow field. like, you still have to breathe, but it's not any kind of pleasant.

i'm sorry for you. i am compelled to advise what you certainly already know: stay calm and as strong as you can be, and remember that this is a stage, not a result. it will get better, really. well, it will get different.

[cyclopatra]

Last weekend I drove up to Seattle with my roommates to attend a friend's baby shower. One of the attendees was the sweetest little 18-month old boy, who played "roll the ball" with me and sat on my lap and smelled damn good and made me think that maybe I would want kids in a few years.

I won't say your post has made me think otherwise, but it's reminded me that there's more than one side to these things :)

[lizardek]

The candle thing was damned funny!

[Sherry]

Did he fall into a sodden hiccuping uneasy sleep? That's what mine used to do.

[KellyH]

You know how your pediatrician says to make sure they're safe, then leave the room during the tantrum and they'll lose steam? (Mine does, anyway.) My 2 year old follows me. If you close the door, the screaming gets 1000 times louder. What I find funny is if she's doing the rolling around on the floor thing and sees me leave the room, she gets up, still screaming, follows me, and once in the room with me again, commences the wallowing again. Oh God, please tell me this ends!

[MelissaS]

Dear God I hated 2.5....hated it.

Everything I did or said would be accompanied with a ducking type of feeling as I wondered if *this* would be the thing this hour which set off my son's emotional undoing.

Has he ever vomited on your shoulder in public? Because I'll tell you, I haven't felt better about this parenting thing than that time I drove home reeking of puke after a public screaming fit.

Also, my child less sister in law realized the secret of parenting and it is: Tricking them. Which is true, unfortunately children LEARN and so the tricks stop working.

Final thing and then I promise to stop jabbering. A trick that worked here (for about a week or so) was secretly unplugging the television. Then the tv is bad. Look! The tv is broken! Stupid tv. Bad tv.

Oh but then Henry may take out his 2 year old rage on the tv......

Sorry you're screwed.

[kelly]

Oh! We're inching up on 2 and the particulars of the tantrum, they increase exponentially every month. I recall with Ty that 3-4 was the worst year of my life to date. I went to bed each night with 2 feet pushing against my head and sent up a pathetic, boozy (yes, I drank. nightly. you would have too) prayer to anybody with a little power who might be listening, to please snuff me out in the night.

He's 12 now and we're dealing with a whole new kind of tantrum. The silent, cold-shoulder, uber-private, don't-look-at-me-don't-talk-to-me type of tantrum. But Lila fills in the silences quite nicely with her shreiks and wails and beating of chest and weaving of hair shirts. Oh. Dear. Goddess. What was I thinking doing this again?

I often did what MelissaS did...unplugged that SOB and let him press the buttons to his hearts content (content being not so content, but more bereft and devastated.)

[lynn]

Oh dear. I was all ready to applaud you for holding out for two hours. You must not give in to tantrums, or they learn that tantrums work. Imagine if he learns - cool, if I scream for two hours, I get what I want! **Shudder** So, be strong. That's great that you can leave him in the other room. Do it. Try to ignore him. Really. I have to make mine stay in his room, which is harder. I also repeat a mantra to the child, which helps me if not him, "Mommy doesn't change her mind." (Hah! But it sounds good, don't you think?) When my husband's home, I have left the house rather than listen to a tantrum anymore. So I know it's the hardest thing to listen to.

[-erica]

I'm going to guess that you stopped the tantrum by feeding him. My two year old was throwing a fit because Daddy left for work, and he didn't want any of my suggested distractions - TV, computer, toys, books, but Man! once I said the magic word "cookie" - he was like "Daddy who?" After he ate the cookie, he turned around and said "Mommy, I happy!" Is that a terrible lesson to teach him or what? What moms do for a little peace and quiet... By the way, three is worse than two. Two year olds can be soothed by routines, and underneath it all, really want to please Mommy, which you can twist to your advantage. There is NO reasoning with a three year old. "Mommy, I don't want to leave!" "Ok, we'll stay here." "No, I don't want to stay here!" "But we can only do one or the other, not both!" Thus guaranteeing that you have an unhappy Three Year Old NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO.

[Lunasea]

Oh good, he got the memo.

A. has tried all kinds of different things to get us to turn on the TV - "Push green circle," as he hands us the remote; "Baseball?"; "John Kerry? Bush?" during the elections (guess political shows are better than nothing); and now, "News Time!"

[christy]

So glad I am not alone.

My 2 1/2 year old has taken to screaming "leave me alone" a la moody teenage girl and I will take him up on his offer every time.

But then he'll do something like say "I'm dying!" when describing his mild diaper rash or tell me that he "works at the football stadium" and it's so funny I think we'll keep him around a little longer.

[probablynotthathelpful]

i read a statistic in time magazine that said that most 2nd graders expect to ask for something nine times before they get it.

nine m.f. times.
mommycanihaveit? mommymommycanihaveit? mommycanihaveit? mommycanihaveit? mommymommymommycanihaveit? mommycanihaveit? mommycanihaveit? mommymommycanihaveit? mommycanihaveit?

and so, i think i agree with lynn and everyone else who said that it's best to try not to give in, lest you end up with the mommymommymommymommy kid at the grocery, with everyone sympathetically smiling at (and secretly hating) you.

stay strong, finslippy! we believe in your ability to tune out your child. ;)

[Ninotchka]

I'm so there with my little one: Hell, ahem, I mean, Elle, my nearly 2.5 year old demon, AHEM!, I mean daughter. LOL

Yesterday she screamed such a blood curtling, high-pitched scream that all the dogs in the neighborhood started barking and I honestly thought I might lose my mind AND my hearing.

Lord help me, I have slipped into the 9th circle of hell. Seriously.

I was advised about the whole putting them in a "safe" room for a couple of minutes thing so now I put her in our (beautifully remodeled) laundry room. She has a little stool there and she knows exactly what to do, God love her. We call it "The Chokey" (taken from the children's book/movie "Matilda").

But can you imagine how ridiculous, not to mention CPS-worthy, I sound threatening "The Chokey?"

Kill me now, Lord.

ha ha ha

Seriously, I feel your pain.

[Ninotchka]

Oh and can you denote the copious amounts of Catholic/Latina guilt in the "beautifully remodeled" comment?

Because,you know, I wouldn't put her in just ANY "Chokey." It has to at least be beautiful to make me feel that much better about myself as her (evil) Mother. Sigh.

[Summer]

I am totally in denial. I've got a little less than two months before my son has his dreaded second birthday... and he's going to stay sweet! And easygoing! And a cheerful gourmand! Right? Right? Anybody?

I have learned an important lesson today, Alice, and that lesson is: just let him watch tv, dammit.

[LOD]

Robert has a different approach. When he sees me browsing through the guide, surfing for something, anything, to dull the pain, he exclaims "There's nothing on!" and turns the tube off.

Two is wonderful, and it sucks real bad.

[Kristín]

Now, take a deep breath and thank Sweet Jesus that you didn't have twins. Or triplets.

Ah, the terrible twos. Whatever you try, you always feel you lose. I'm at the fabulous four with my two. Can't wait for them to grow up and leave home.

[Lisa]

You know, at 4, they are still asking for something 9 times in a row...

Can I have some candy? Why? Can I have some candy? Why? Can I have some candy? Why? Can I have some candy? Why? Can I have some candy? Why? Can I have some candy? Why? Can I have some candy? Why? Can I have some candy? Why? Can I have some candy? Why?

Within a 10 minute period, I heard my name 300 times, I swear!

Today, cutely enough, I accidentally knocked over the basket of toys I had asked her to pick up, and she said, "Look what you did! I just cleaned that up!"

Don't repeat my words back to me, mini-me! :) Gotta love their parrot-like features.

[Erica]

I have been there, and I will be there again in about six months, and all I can proffer is this advice: Buy some really good chocolate. Hide it from everyone, including Mr. Finslippy, and use it to dull the pain whenever necessary. Just don't let the small fry catch you doing it, or you'll have an entirely new tantrum on your hand.

[Nikol]

oh goody

needed that today.

Laughed out loud.

[Judy]

I flipped the door knob around on my sons bedroom door. I can lock it from the outside now. :) He doesn't like being locked in his room for any length of time. Eventually he figured it out; If he wants access to the rest of the house he has to calm down....otherwise he spends more time in his room. Now that he's 6 the raging fits are far and few between....and the threat of being locked in his room is an effective tool for keeping the peace.

[jilbur]

hopping jehosephat, that sounds like a heap of sucking! You needn't give yourself too hard a time for caving in after two hours, just that once. I don't think it's really possible at this stage of cognitive develpment for him to have an idea of what 'two hours' is. I'm surprised he remembers what he wanted. Anyway, a single experience isn't a tattoo, fer crissake. Anyway, what good is it going to do him if you die of a brain hemorrhage right before his very eyes? Something's gotta give sometimes. Maybe you could pretend his tantrum is just a really bad experimental music act in a chic club, and listen to it with feigned rapt appreciation? While wearing protective gear (full leathers, styrofoam, motorcycle helmet)?

[Bee]

Hmm, I feel like I have been blessed. The longest my dear lil 2yr old gal has gone on in epic tantrum mode is fifteen minutes, during which time I had a mini nervous breakdown of my own. The good news is, she's nearly three and it's definitely showing signs of getting better. Be strong and keep writing. Good to know we are not alone!

[Jake]

I used to have a cat. And this one time IT THREW UP ON THE CARPET.

I ... um ... feel your pain.

[elswhere as Dr Spock]

Okay. I know you didn't ask for advice. And I feel your pain. But, for what it's worth, here's what worked for us:

1) If you're going to give in, give in RIGHT AWAY. That way you don't build up their stamina.

2) Have some magic phrase you use when you're caving. We use "I've changed my mind." [sometimes adding "Because this seems so important to you" or whatever. And usually--especially now she's older--we make her ask politely and/or stop crying before we actually do it.]

3) Have another magic phrase to indicate that you're not going to give in. Not surprisingly, ours is: "I'm not going to change my mind on this one." Once you say that second magic phrase, you CANNOT CAVE. No matter what: volcanic tantrums, screaming for hours, flinging himself around, whatever.

This gives you a little window to decide whether the fight is worth it at any given time, gives the kid some way to make his voice heard, and still lets you not reinforce prolonged tantrums.

Okay. Done now. Go, go with my blessing.

[coolbeans]

My son used to lie down on the floor and hold very still. This was his tantrum. And I'd be all, "Ooh, scary tantrum. No. Stop. Really. You're.so.out.of.control." It was funny.

He's nearly two now and is competing with Henry for the "T.A.I.T.O.R. 2004" championship title.

God in Heaven, I hope Henry wins.

[jilbur]

Oohh, elsewhere's comment made me think--that's true, that I do think it's okay to teach that you sometimes change your mind. In fact I think that this has been our general parenting approach too. It's not awful to model some flexibility. But then, the 'I'm not going to change my mind' formula has been crucial. Um ... I'd also like to add that during the Jellybean's first grade school conference a few weeks ago, her teacher pointedly remarked that our darling girl 'has a hard time listening to "no".' So, whatever we did ... didn't, um, work. Entirely.

[Kel]

Oh yes and just wait.

I am currently on a business trip, the second I have ever taken in my thirtyfour-month-old son's life. His grandmother, my mother, is watching him. This is the second "spend the night at grandma's house" visit he has ever had. The first, which happened two months ago was a wonderful bonding experience and Grandma was soooo looking forward to this week.

Only N. has run head long into THE TERRIBLE THREES since the last visit and now I am calling and hearing things like, "Well, its just not going well, I'm just not going to fib!!!" and "Grandma's mad at me". When asked for more of an explanation I got, "Well, he's so negative and stubborn." I know its been too many years for her to remember what its like to be around a three year old. So the good news is that this pain does fade (or it did for her).

So now I've got working mother/traveling mother guilt and horribly behaving child guilt...and may have just lost my future of a few weekends a year off babysitting situation!

Lord help us all,

Kel

[carrie (the other one)]

Three is worse. Two sucks. Three is worse.

The good news is it fades and/or becomes manageable enough that we've done the toddlerfromhell thing FOUR TIMES. Now that we're knee deep in the fourth one, I can't figure out what I was thinking. I do find that I can often corelate the sobbing, "I hate you mother, how dare you have birthed me, DON'T LOOK AT ME YOU EVIL HAG!" behavior with low blood sugar, so the cookie thing sounds perfect. Besides, if mine wouldn't eat it (and they're not so reasonable in rant mode), then I would and it would be chocolate and all would be well.

I vote also for the lock on the door. Seriously. My mom got advice from a friend with toddlers when I was a newborn that went basically like this: One day, in the midst of toddler hell, the mom looked at the kid and thought to herself, "At the end of this, one of us is going down, and it's not gonna be me." It's gospel, honey, and the lock on the toddler door is manna from heaven. Go there. And then come back and tell us how you looked in your super-hero role. Tee hee.

May the Force be with you.

[alice]

Attention future commenters: If any of you want to tell me more about how the worst is yet to come, stop right there. Put your hands down. Walk away from the keyboard. I thank you.

[FrumDad]

This isn't "worse yet to come," just "worse could happen, so smile as we all wallow together in our misery."

Rachel didn't want to go to sleep. No, I mean really. Her screams and resistance were inversely proportional to her distance from the crib, including the mathematical bit where distance went to zero and screams went to infinity. To quote from another blog a long time ago, it was like we were feeding her feet-first into the wood-chipper.

We're not Ferber parents, but we thought we could leave her in there for a minute and she'd get it.

She started this flailing thing she does. We've seen it before, no biggie. But this time instead of lying down and flailing, she stood up and flailed vertically, which would have been cinematically amusing except when it's you're kid and you're waiting for the pea soup...

Anyway.

She managed to flail herself into the side of the crib that's backed by some shelves. By herself, I mean mostly her head.

Wait for it...

So her head goes flying into this chunk of wood.
And she stops crying. And kind of looks at me.

And then her eyes rolled back and she fell down.

That's right kids, She knocked herself unconscious.

Somebody call Child Protective Services right now.

Now, I'm loathe to admit that a little part of me thought, "shows you. You'll sleep now."

But most of me was the part that freaked out and took her to our neighbor the pediatrician. She was okay. She regained consciousness (loudly) some 45 seconds later. But still.

So until we get some good foam for the crib, Rachel's winning those arguments.

--FD

[MustangSally]

Hot Toddler Toddy? My kid is SO gonna brow up to be a lush....

[robb]

Biercraft has white chocolate covered popcorn. I only mention this because after my daughter poked me in both my eyes at the same time and then cried for ten minutes and poked her finger in my ear it made me feel better when I ate some.

[trisha]

My four-year-old can't talk.

[Sheryl]

Girl, I'm on my third toddler, and I FEEL your PAIN.

[carla]

Can I just say that a stepkid's tantrums are also a pain, especially when he spends more time someplace where they apparently are reinforced and get him what he wants? Though, because he's 7 and amenable to some reason, some of the time, I can just look at him when he's in the pleasepleaseplease mode and say, "Does that work with me?" His latest things, though, are "leave me alone!" while he gets all stompy and pouty--usually when he's asked to do something--and "I AAAMMMMM" when he's getting spoken to sternly for not doing something he was told to do. I sometimes wish that I could have him for a month or three, single-handed. Then I reconsider.

[karyn]

Three. Is. So. Bad.

Thank God for your blog, so I know that I am not alone.

There is not enough alcohol in the world to dull my pain. The Three Year Old pain.

[Alice]

I need to believe that three is good, Karyn. Please lie to me. Tell me it's good.

[Kristi]

I am so glad I found this. I almost cried real tears.

My little girl is 2.5 and its just me and her. I have thought of her as the bitch in the other room sooo many times and then my next thought is I must be the most horrible mom in the world. I call that my bi-polar moment. It is often me screaming one minute and then stopping just to tell my daughter I love her. Just so she knows while I am going crazy:)

I recently came to a conclusion. If she wants it, most likely she gets it. Sad, I know. However, it is saving our relationship and my sanity:) I figure it will get better in time.

Thanks for the great story.

[andrea]

We often had an issue in our house with the TV. It especially irked me in the summer, when there are so many other (better!) things to do. I read somewhere that hanging a "No TV Day" sign on the front of your tv works for children under 5. It sounds deceptively simple, and although we never went as far as hanging an actual sign the *announcement* that it was a No TV Day actually worked for us. It was just another way of saying "no," but they accepted it and moved on.

Kids are weird. :)

[Susie Bright]

Whew... this is like reading one of those Gitmo Torture Logs. I want to send in an airlift!

But actually, I have another idea, which I wish I could entice you to at least try, because you'll probably doubt me at first. I completely doubted it at first. I was totally unprepared for the beneficial effects.

Turn off the TV, permanently, completely. Disconnect the service, in other words.

Now, this isn't your oldfashioned anti-cinematic advice. I do encourage you to keep your "screen" and your VCR/DVD player. Enjoy movies with your kids, let them watch movies of all kinds. These will have a substantially different effect than television broadcasting. My daughter watched the Wizard of Oz and Star Trek five million times, and I have no complaints, not in the least. I remember when watching Fantasia would calm her like a tonic.

But the tone of TV, the sound of it, the tempo of it, the feel of the programming and commercials---something about it is toxic and habitforming at the same time. I'm sure you know there are long books that can describe to you the science of the madness. I always thought they were extremists.

Now I know better... it really is bad for you, and it makes everyone more disagreeable, your children and yourself. It's like taking a pill that fucks you up every day, and you think it's something else, but it isn't. When I enter a room with the TV on nowadays, it's like someone just stuck a fork in my liver.

Please believe me when I tell you I didn't anticipate this. I turned off the TV to save money, and because I figured I'd seen every Law and ORder rerun at least three times. Now I love watching my L&O DVD's, I really do. It's a completely different experience.

When I read your posting, I didn't think, "oh she's a bad/beleagured mom," or "oh, he's such a nightmare/poor baby" but rather... "they dont' realize it, but their TV did this to them."

I'm trying to think how I could prove this to you, so you wont' think I'm a nut.

Okay, I thought of one thing... I have never met anyone who turned off their TV service, who then turned it back on. No regrets, none.

If you're worried about missing disastrous real-time Tsunami news, it's on the Internet. Jon Stewart's daily monologues are on his web site. Any news you could possibly want to hear is on radio. Any tv show worth watching is immeasureably better on DVD. There is not one single excuse.

OFF. Turn it off, and write me in a month and tell me how you feel.

[Sarafmc]

Three can actually be better! Don't jump! My first got so much better around 2.5. He still pushes and melts down sometimes, but nothing like that big testing 'make mama snap' stuff.

But, really truly for real, three won't be better unless you hold the line. Each time you cave, you are racheting up and prolonging the nightmare. They push until they find the wall. They want to know where it is. Put the wall in one place and don't let it move. Suffer now, or suffer a lot more later.

Definitely don't let him physically abuse you though, he has to learn that's not cool! If he can hit and kick you, he's gonna do it to other people in time, I've seen that play out a lot.

Hang in there! I'm looking at my sweet cuddly 9 month old baby and sighing deeply right now.

[Marysia]

Oh my god, I laughed so hard I cried! It's so nice and comforting to know that I'm not the only one whose child is driving them crazy. I have a four year son, cute as can be, with a temper like you wouldn't believe and I've had it with him this weekend. He hasn't been listening and just wants to do what he wants to do. Thank God I'm not alone......

[Natasha]

Thank you for this website! I think it should be standard issue for all new parents! This is my first visit and I laughed very hard - not only for the first story but for all the subsequent tales of woe. I feel like chanting "We shall overcome!"

I am the mother of twin 3 year old boys. Two very curious, very energetic little boys. You would take one look at them and fall in love. They are as cute as buttons with sandy blond locks, hazel eyes and beautifully dimpled chins.

You would be fooled tho.

The cuteness is just a way to lure you into their trap. The trap they manage to arrange every day. You see - these children plot to take turns. One night, Eryk has the 30 minute - 4 hour tantrum and the next night, his brother, Nicolas, takes over. And so it goes - everyday. Sometimes every hour, sometimes only once a day - sequentially they tantrum. And just when you think you can handle one at a time, the other starts in too. Then it's two screaming children. Sometimes I feel like a suffer from shell shock - grimacing at every noise that could signal the next tantrum.

Course, it's not limited to just tantrums. One day I was so lured by their cuteness and gentle playing that I let them walk just a foot ahead of me back to the car (we had stopped for lunch). They took one look at me and ran. Ran down the shopping enter across two driveways, laughing and gleeful. I though my head was going to split open I was so outraged...and terrified. My heart started beating again 3 hours later.

My children plot. oh yes.

Course I have to say one thing - one day when Eryk was having a particularly bad day he screamed in my face and suddenly...I saw myself. Not that I have modeled such behavior (ok maybe once or twice I've lost it) but he looked just like me. I don't know what to make of this except - dammit why can't they just learn my good habits!

I try to be a good mother. God help me, but I try.

[marty]

...Reading this makes me thankfull my wife is a Pharmacist, and we have two dogs not a 2 year old.

[Stephanie]

Does anyone else's child butt their head on purpose during a tantrum? And I don't mean lightly tap their head on the floor, I mean the kind of slam their head into the floor which results in riding the little short school bus to school kind of head butt. I cannot get my two year old to stop doing this. He's been doing it for a long time and he always has bruises and knots on his forehead. Short of wearing a helmet 24/7 I don't know what to do. I find myself giving him anything he wants just to avoid him hurting himself. My four year old says Momma can I have a cupcake before dinner? And of course I say no, however my two year old just has to come in the room right that instant with his little cupcake I just gave him. Not fair huh? Anyway, three was REALLY bad with my daughter, I hope it's not that way with my son. If it gets any worse than this, then you can write to me at the looney bin. Thanks for your posts! May God bless and keep you all.

[Michelle]

Thank goodness for inspired women! If I hadn't run into this website tonight I may have cracked. My 2yr old daughter is a definate contender for the all-time tantrum record. She has left my mother and sister just shaking their heads and handing me some Advil. We do the "throw-up thing", the "contortionist" and the famous"back-flip-out-of-my-arms" accompanied by the Wailing of the Damned. I am a stay-at-home-mom and she has pushed me beyond any limits I imagined. I've pulled several "all nighters" just to avoid giving into her. Then, when I am just ready to dive into an empty pool, she comes out of nowhere and gives me a kiss on the cheek and hugs my head. Mommy's all better now. It's comforting, for some reason, to know that there are other moms out there on the battlefield with me.

[ME]

How can I get my 4.5 year old to stop his WHINING and CRYING< ALL THE TIME< FOR EVERYTHING and ANYTHING!!!! HELPPPPPP!!

[menard2003]

I have two step-children, one 7 and the other just turned 2 in January. It's been a living hell! The 7 year old is great, very energetic, but great. The 2 year old constantly wants to cling to me, as soon as he see's me he's mama! and comes running to me. Then rest of the day all he wants is for me to carry him around. If I don't then he follows me screaming. I've tried the whole going into the other room, and like someone else said, it doesn't work..he just gets louder and worse. Then starts banging on the door. I never knew raising a two year old is so rough! How do you guys make it through?? I'm glade to see that it's the age, and hopefully he'll grow out of it..

[reinsrus]

dear marty i am having the same problem and it terrifies me.mine is such a smart two yr old, and i am afraid of him getting brain damage lol.but not really funny.he acts like he likes the feeling of his head hitting the floor.one day he hit it on a concrete floor at a dealership, all i could think of is an egg cracking. he runs his head into doorjams.when in a tantrum flips head side to side screaming hitting his temples on sides of carseat when mad in the car.i feel like i should do wall to wall carpeting and double padding on the floors. anyways, it freaks me out badly, and i dont know what to do either.the more i cup his head from hitting something the more he wants to do it.so i kinda backed off, but so afraid i wont be there to cup it at that one bad hit :***********( lemme know anything more you find out...