Hello again.

I’m so out of practice with this. I can’t remember—how was this done, again? Where did my ideas come from? Was I clever? It’s all a blur.

In a nutshell: there was a car accident on our corner, Henry and I witnessed it and were almost victims, and I suffered some post-traumatic stress that involved a lot of shaking and nibbling at fingernails and shaking and not-sleeping and not-eating and, um, shaking. Back when I wrote my last post, I thought I’d share all the details when I returned, but now that my heart rate is back to normal, I no longer have the superhuman (read: insane) energy I had then. But I am all better now, and isn’t that all that matters? I have received the Appropriate Treatments, my brains have been scrubbed clean of the bad thoughts, scrubscrubscrub, and now I am happy Happy HAPPY! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

HA!

Hey, where are you--Wait, come back!

In better news, today was Henry’s 2nd birthday. He had his girlfriend over for dinner. They gazed into each other’s eyes, caressed each other’s cheeks with macaroni-and-cheese-encrusted fingers, and screamed over the rightful use and ownership of various trucks and trains. So pretty much what me and the Husband do on any given night.

Have I bragged about my kid enough? I kind of can’t believe how much I lucked out with him. He’s so happy and sweet and oh my god, he couldn’t be more affectionate. He is composed purely of love, as my husband likes to say. He’s, and let’s just put it out there, let us not be modest—jaw-droppingly gorgeous. I mean, come on:

But he’s not just a pretty boy, oh no. This boy has ideas. He’ll go off on riffs about turtles on the ocean and the waves going WHOOSH and how the turtles don’t live in the waterfall which is in the park and the waterfall there also goes WHOOSH and the turtle is on his hand but ha ha there’s no turtle there ha ha and all I can do is sit back and wonder what planet he came from.

He has turns of phrase that neither of us gave him, like “Big fun!” whenever he goes down the slide, or, alternately, “Too much fun!” His new habit is to give each day a theme; if it’s not a beautiful day, it’s a “Going to the Zoo Day” (mind you, this is before I was aware we were going to the zoo) or a “New Friend Day” or a “Hitting the Dog with a Tonka Truck Day.”

Incidentally, at his 2-year checkup yesterday, I learned that my boy weighs 34 back-breaking pounds (96th percentile) and is 35 inches tall (68th? Or something). My son is a square. Well, sort of. Also, his head was so big (because it is so full of dreams) they had to make a new chart for it. We went to a new doctor, whom Henry took a liking to and covered with kisses before we left (and not before careening bare-assed through the halls—apparently it was “Streaking Some Nurses Day”). And the new doctor said, “Are you afraid someone might steal this kid?” I sort of am. So don’t even think about it or I will be so mad.

Comments

[cyclopatra]

Part of me wants to ask you for the whole story, and part of me just wants to say "yippie! you're back!" and let you go on healing.

I'd recommend that you listen to the part of me that doesn't slow down to look at...well, you know.

[lizardek]

I am SO glad that you and Henry are okay.

[Karen]

DAMN, that's a cute kid. When you're ready to find him a wife, would you please consider my daughter? She's pretty, and smart, and she comes from good stock, and ... let me just be honest ... we've been looking for a good streaker for her.

[kelly]

Oh, man.

So glad you guys are ok.

and HENRY! Whaaat a beautiful boy. "Streaking Some Nurses Day"

ahahahah!

[frecklegirl]

Oh my gosh! That is so scary!

I might want to give Henry a big smackeroo on those cute cheeks but I would never steal him away!! It would be so sad to deny you that cuteness. He is a gorgeous little boy... look at those eyes!

haha- and what a character. :)

[Ice Queen]

I know what you mean. I prefer to do an "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" thing when bad things happen to me.

My kid was (is) big for his age too. The only bad part is that people will think he's older and expect more. Luckily, Ice Prince is a genius, so this is not a problem.

I'm sure Henry is too. Big fun!

[Summer]

I don't want to steal your son, honest, I don't. I just want to borrow him long enough to give his hair a little trim. I'm very good at cutting toddler boy's hair, which isn't an easy task, as it generally means chasing after the boy with scissors, and we all know that running with scissors is a dangerous thing to do.

Henry is gorgeous, and clearly brilliant if he's talking about turtles that live in waterfalls. My son's best friend turned two yesterday too, and all he can say is "what's dis?" and "ball! ball!". And the best friend doesn't have a girlfriend either, possibly because my son has already claimed the prettiest girl at playgroup.

Happy birthday, Henry! Long live Prince Finslippy!

[Sheryl]

He kissed the doctor? He;s a visitor from planet Perfectchild

[Mir]

If I didn't have my own blob-o-love little boy I would totally think about stealing Henry, but that kind of adorableness in stereo would probably kill me. Nonetheless, he is one amazing kid and I do still want to nibble his cheeks just a little.

Thank goodness you're okay. Keep scrubbing.

[sarah]

Happy birthday, Henry!

I don't want to steal him, but if I lived anywhere near you (like in the same country) I'd want to come over for coffee to admire the big brains and beautiful faces of the Finslippy Family up close.

Don't worry - I'm far too busy with my own kid to be any real kind of stalking danger to you.

And I'm so glad that you and Henry are well. Welcome back.

[Kelli]

Henry is SO cute. Those eyes!

Glad to hear that all is well.

[Mrs. Kennedy]

Wow, nothing like a brush with death to keep your weight down. Car accidents: so slimming!

[debl]

Oh my dear Alice. Yesterday my sis told me about your scary trauma. And about the Learning to Breathe. I am happy you are both okay, and I'm also happy Henry has those big and unbelievably blue eyes with the beautiful fawny eyelashes. I'll try hard not to steal him, though.

[debl]

Oh my dear Alice. Yesterday my sis told me about your scary trauma. And about the Learning to Breathe. I am happy you are both okay, and I'm also happy Henry has those big and unbelievably blue eyes with the beautiful fawny eyelashes. I'll try hard not to steal him, though.

[debl]

Oh my dear Alice. Yesterday my sis told me about your scary trauma. And about the Learning to Breathe. I am happy you are both okay, and I'm also happy Henry has those big and unbelievably blue eyes with the beautiful fawny eyelashes. I'll try hard not to steal him, though.

[Collette]

Today is officially declared "Glad you're back and well, sorry you had to deal with the whole scary car incident thing and big-blue-eyed Henry is brilliant, full o'love and oh so kissable Day."

[frog]

Wow. Whew. And welcome back. You were sorely missed.

[Very Mom]

Oh the boy that is Henry IS so pretty with those eyes of blue. So glad you are back and safe and with a scrubbed mind to boot.

[aleta]

happy brithday to henry! i giggled like a mad fiend when i saw the picture of baby-dog love. my husband listened to your entry and was thrilled to realize that we'll have our own 2 year old cutie sooner than we think.

[Heather]

Oops! So overcome by his beauty, I posted on the wrong blog! See previous day's entries.......

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HENRY!!!

[G. McFuzz]

Goddammit that is one cute kid. Happy Birthday.

[Old Prospector]

Top Notch Henry! Top Notch!

Back in my day, if you made it past 2, you had to be tough. You had to have beaten up all the other children and taken their rat pellets in order to survive! I commend you!

[schmutzie]

I'm happy to read you again! I'm sorry that you had to witness that accident. I witnessed one myself a couple of weeks ago, and I have been unable to write about it. I sit down to do it and then find that I can't. It robbed me of five days of blogging, that one.

[Miel]

So sorry about that trauma. Glad you both seem to be recovering. Henry seems amazing. How do you keep from gnawing on those cheeks?

Happy Birthday Henry!

[Miel]

P.S. Yes, you were clever.

[Terri]

Finally, you're back! Glad to see you're all shiny and clean.

[Martha]

He is just too cute for words. And his cheeks are eminently edible.

[the mighty jimbo]

i think i'm going to make it a "streaking some nurses day" too!

that henry. such a trend setter.

[Anne-Whitney]

So glad you are all ok and getting better :) Your son is too beautiful - Enjoy!

[RockStar Mommy]

Your son is so damn gorgeous, I can't stand it!!!

[Wickwire]

What a cute wee baby!